Yvette Reid - Wedding Celebrant

19/11/2024

My latest celebrant blog post is up. If you're after some ideas on how to make your wedding different or memorable click here:

Many people will say to me, after all these years you must've seen so many different kinds of weddings. It's true. And within the 800 or so weddings that I have been a part of - I've seen a few very cool ideas and most o...

25/10/2024

Sometimes I swear I must be psychic. No one told me this couple's wedding colours were pink and white - yet I have black pants, white top, pink blazer!!

02/10/2024

After 14 years being a celebrant and over 750 weddings I've seen some cool ideas and here's one I have totally stolen for my wedding. Only seen it done once, so I don't even know if its "a thing", but I have called it a "Guests Bouquet" and I'm excited to see what my wedding bouquet ends up looking like!

27/09/2024

Had a zoom today with a couple and we were discussing the tricky nature of trying to keep numbers down while planning a wedding.

So, following on from my last post, here's some ideas on how to keep guest numbers small. If you're thinking of having a micro-wedding of 20-50 guests, read on. Even if your max number is 80-100 it may still be helpful.

(We haven't sent our invites yet, but we have made the list!)

Start with the close family members who you couldn't get married without. If you knew they couldn't attend that day you would literally move the wedding date to suit!

Secondly add the friends who would be in your Bridal party, even if you've chosen not to have a Bridal party. Who would be your bridesmaids and groomsmen? Those names are automatic invites.

Then add the friends and family who have really 'pushed in' to be a regular part of your lives. Who always turns up for you?

As we made our invitation list together, we asked each other questions like:
Who came to your birthday party?
Who came to our baby shower?
Which of my friends/family have made an effort to meet and get to know you?
Who have we spent time with as a couple?
And an easy indicator for us with a baby - who has met our baby since she arrived 10 months ago?
Let's obviously invite those people who have shown in action they are invested in us as a couple / family.

Is this someone we would be happy to buy dinner for if we went out together? Considering each guest adds around $200 to the wedding cost, why start now if you wouldn't be comfortable spending money on them usually.

We want to be mindful not to waste one of our few invites on someone who may not show. So the regular last minute flakers might not make the cut... A probable empty chair at such an intimate event is a risk with friends/family like this.

When it comes to plus ones, we were strict. No one we haven't met, even if they've been together for donkeys. If our guest was sick, would their partner feel comfortable attending our wedding alone? If not, than it's a no from us. Couples we have spent time with together and consider both people to be our friends - yes of course.

When it comes to family members that others may expect you to invite, but didn't make the above criteria... you may have to defend your choices. I had a family member suggest I should invite a certain relative who was in my life as a child but who I've seen maybe three times total in my adult hood (and I'm 42!) - my response was that if I called said family member now and randomly asked her what my Fiancé's name was, she wouldn't have a clue. Proving this is not someone who is actually invested in us as a couple. Doesn't mean we don't love these family and friends that don't make the guest list, but our wedding day is about our relationship with each other, it's not a complete list of all our friends nor is it a family reunion.

We both are self-employed and generally work alone, but if we had workmates to consider the questions would be: Do we spend time with this person outside work? Would they make our wedding more fun? Have they met my partner? If this someone we would ordinarily buy dinner for? If ALL answers are yes, then they might be invited too depending on how close we felt.

We made exceptions for a few people based overseas who have a close relationship to one of us. We figured that location was a suitable excuse for not meeting our partner or baby yet - BUT in their defence, every one of them would be able to tell us our partner's name and our baby's name if we called them out of the blue.

Be careful with exceptions though - "If I invite this cousin, I have to invite that cousin" etc. It's a can of worms you don't want to open. Your guest list may end up exploding as they commonly do. Most weddings end up with 20-40 more guests than the couple originally intended. If you don't want this to happen to you, make your rules then keep your rules firm and if possible book a venue that limits your numbers to the size you prefer.

Like us - You may wish to plan a brunch BBQ, picnic or drinks at a bar for the following day/week where it's potluck, BYO or PYO event (low cost), and extend an open invite there to absolutely anyone and everyone who would like to attend. That way we can continue the celebration including everyone who may want to be there. We're aware some people may not have been around much in the 3 years we've been together, but that doesn't mean they won't be around in future - so if they didn't get around to meeting my boyfriend, partner or baby-daddy, they can at least meet my Husband! (all the same person!!)

Best of luck!

26/09/2024

I'm finally experiencing planning my own wedding. I have tried my best to take my own advice (that I've often dished out over the past 14 years). All of these things save you money AND in my opinion improve the wedding experience.

1. The less people the better! Honestly my favorite ceremonies are usually the ones with less than 60 guests. The occasion feels so special and intimate and the Bride and Groom is usually a lot less stressed too. Weddings should be a celebration of the couple, not an obligatory family reunion. That's why we decided to make ours a micro-wedding. Also by booking a reception venue that has only 36 max seats (including us) it makes us stick to our limit!

2. This one is highly controversial. Outdoor ceremonies are overrated. So many pricey venues get booked for their amazing outside space, then when the weather is dicey the couple feel desperate to fulfill their vision of 'where' they were planning to exchange vows, even if it means cold, damp and uncomfortable guests. And if the summer weather is "too amazing" and without shade, we have sweaty thirsty guests, sweat patches on the groomsmen's armpits and brides with their makeup melting off mid ceremony.

A few seasons ago I had the rare situation of two weddings in one day, as there was a decent time gap between them. The first was held at a pricey wedding venue, outside despite the grey clouds above, and it heavily rained on the guests twice during ceremony. Umbrellas being passed back and forth meant they missed a lot of the ceremony and the guests were all damp and cold. I then went to the second wedding, a casual indoor diy venue with guests all sat around on random mismatched couches. Everyone was dry and comfortable, including the grannies. The couple had spent zero time on their wedding day worrying about the weather. Everyone was happy and relaxed. Every word of my ceremony was heard and enjoyed.

3. If you can ditch the idea of a bridal party - do it. You only have to read posts on a wedding related group to see all the stories of major stress over bridesmaids dresses, or MOH's not doing "enough" to meet their Bride's expectations of involvement/planning help. Brides often end up falling out with their bridal party and that's not what anyone wants. Within the Bridal party there's a bridesmaid that is wondering why she isn't the Maid of honor, and beyond the bridal party there are friends that are upset that they weren't chosen at all... because sometimes our best friend doesn't consider us their best friend - ouch! You're basically drawing a line in the sand to say who are your most valued mates, which is why Brides often feel more lonely in the lead up and aftermath of their big day - as a lot of their friends are dealing with their emotions about their clear place on your friendship hierarchy, so they simply take some distance to cope. Bridal party choices end friendships SO often, it's not a risk I wanna take. Plus without bridesmaids my besties can wear what they want and there's a lot less to organise!

4. Don't buy into the wedding extras or feeling like you must do EVERY traditional expectation. If something is not important to you, it's not important to include it. You don't NEED party favors. You don't NEED matching dressing gowns for your bridal party. Hubby is a plumber and won't wear a ring? He doesn't NEED one to be legally married. Don't want to dance in front of everyone? Don't do a first dance. Don't enjoy cake? Have one made of Cheese! Or a pile of Donuts! Or feel free to skip it all together!

Hot tip - Everytime a family member or vendor says "Have you thought about having..." instead of panicking that you hadn't actually thought about this thing, turn to your Fiancé and ask "Is that something that is important to us to have/do?" and if not, move on.

And finally (to tie in this photo) - if you want to skip the hoopla and elope on a boat... elope on a boat! It's awesome.

06/09/2024

So relieved to see I've retained my spot within the top 11 Celebrants in Auckland for 2025. This is such a fantastic resource for couples on the search - as it's hard to find video footage of most celebrants in action - and as you can see here, we are all so different. Find your flavour! There's someone for everyone!

Super helpful 2-min videos of the 11 Best Auckland Wedding Celebrants. We've carefully collated short videos of marriage celebrants at actual weddings so you can see what they're really like.

25/06/2024

It's such a lovely surprise when couples go to the trouble of sharing a few photos with me. Thank you Alex and Sam!

21/04/2024

Hi all, I am a wedding celebrant with 14 years experience and an author. I am currently working on new creative project - creating a resource of original poems and readings specifically for weddings of blended families - meaning either one or both partners have child/ren from previous relationships. I myself have a son from previous relationship, two step daughters and a new baby between us, so it's a topic close to my heart.

I have always believed that the best creative work comes from specificity so am after some inspiration for bespoke pieces of writing.

If you are a part of a blended family, or about to be, I would like to offer you the opportunity to receive a free reading/poem for your wedding (or could be used in a love letter / gift). No charge.

I would obviously own the rights to my writing and would possibly include it in a published work with no identifying details (changed names etc).

If interested please comment or pm and we can have a 5 min chat and I'll get onto writing something special for you.

05/04/2024

Found an online magazine I'd never seen before, with a lovely shout out to moi!

a new kind of wedding magazine, blog and directory