07/04/2023
Hey pinballers, if you are local, here are some general rules to follow so everybody can have a great Fourth!
Well folks, it’s that time of year again. Time to celebrate America’s birthday the good ole’ fashion way… with rockets’ red glare and bombs bursting in air. 🎆 While we love the enthusiasm the South offers, we have a few ground rules for the 4th of July here in Cleveland, TN:
1. TURN RIGHT ➡️
New to the area? Overwhelmed with the local traffic on Paul Huff Parkway? 🚘 Well you ain’t seen nothing until you’ve witnessed it at 9:30pm on July 4th after the annual Freedom Celebration fireworks display (which starts at 9:15pm). While we here at the Cleveland Police Department are pretty savvy on our traffic coordination skills 🚧 we need YOUR help. If you choose to come watch the incredible fireworks that Mt. Olive Ministries sets off, come with a plan. All traffic leaving the parking lots in the mall-area MUST TURN RIGHT! �
- You know so-and-so?? Well that’s nice… call them next time and rent one of those sky box suites so you won’t have to turn right with the rest of us peasants.�
- You just have to go right down there… so do the other 4000 cars. Plan ahead, park in the lot that puts your destination to your right when leaving.👉👉👉�
- Phones down, eyes up, lights on, slow down… everyone will get there, just take turns, and bring snacks for the drive🍿🧃�
2. IF YOU DRINK DON’T DRIVE…🍻🚕
🍉 Do the watermelon crawl??? Sure, but plan on getting behind the wheel… NO! Cleveland Police Department conducted a sobriety checkpoint this past weekend which encountered several infractions, including intoxicated driving. Plan ahead of time and make sure you have a safe place to stay, or a sober ride home. Let’s not celebrate freedom, by losing yours. 🚓
3. FIREWORKS ARE ILLEGAL IN THE CITY LIMITS ⛔️🧨
Non-permitted displays that go aerial (up in the air) or boom/pop/bang are illegal. That means no whistlin' bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, ho**ey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistlin' kitty chaser. Does this stop people from shooting them off… well let’s ask the Inman Street bridge about rule followers around here. However, shooting fireworks in the city limits could land you a citation 📋
4. SAVE 911 FOR EMERGENCIES
It’s a holiday week and a full moon 🌕 So, buckle up.
📵Non-emergencies include: someone is shooting fireworks, the neighbor’s BBQ is too loud, Jimmy is singing karaoke and he’s terrible. (423-728-7311)
✅Emergencies include: someone is shot with a firework, the neighbor’s BBQ caught the house on fire, Jimmy was singing and fell unconscious. (911)
So in summary…
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn right”. -Joe Dumbledirt
City of Cleveland, TN - Government
Bradley County 911
Cleveland TN Fire Department
Mt. Olive Ministries
