The Surround

The Surround The Surround: The Place for Men to Connect. Creating freedom in relationships.
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https://mailchi.mp/alancantor/worthy-man-words-a063yniw7o
02/10/2024

https://mailchi.mp/alancantor/worthy-man-words-a063yniw7o

As you travel on the path, you may do so not matter how you are feeling. You may feel fear, you might even be afraid, yet, you may take the next step WITH THE FEAR. Don’t try to get rid of it before taking the step. You can do this, you can take the step, you can ask for help.

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02/08/2024

https://mailchi.mp/alancantor/worthy-man-words-prhwmna03m

You have gotten through the toughest day of your life, yes you have. That day lasted 24 hours; when you are in a day that is challenging, that tests you, know that it is just 24 hours long and that since you have gotten through the toughest day already, you can get through this one. You have the str...

https://mailchi.mp/alancantor/worthy-man-words-087q08su35
02/07/2024

https://mailchi.mp/alancantor/worthy-man-words-087q08su35

In each moment of your life, you have the opportunity to learn. It matters not if you are happy, sad, up, down, winning, losing, etc. Learn from each moment. You may not you are stronger or more resilient in that moment. Trust that you are; you will find that this is true as life goes on and you fac...

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02/06/2024

https://mailchi.mp/alancantor/worthy-man-words-85ewnz5vzv

This is true; take a moment and see where you are not happy, notice what you have not gotten that you really want. If you can accept what life has given you, you can be happy. It’s from this moment of acceptance that you may take the next step on the path toward success. The key is to accept and b...

01/29/2024

https://mailchi.mp/alancantor/worthy-warrior-words-monday-check-in

Remember, just on jumping jack or push-up or any other intentional exercise counts as exercise for that day. Start with one, build as you desire. 1. Are you doing regular, moderate exercise each day? 2. Are you eating a balanced diet for you? 3. Are you getting sufficient sleep?

01/28/2024

Worthy Man Words - Weekly Gratitude Message -

We are all people—black, yellow, brown, white, straight, gay, bi, trans—and we are all connected on this great earth. This is the fact. It seems that many, no most, of the earth’s peoples want to live apart, to separate, to think that their particular conditions are superior.

12/10/2023

"Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold—that’s ego—love liberates.” —Maya Angelou

Be grateful for all that you have, all that you love. Be willing to let it go.
Notice if you are grasping/clinging to someone or something.
In the practice of gratitude, you can let it go and let love rule and free you.

12/09/2023

“Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.” — Voltaire

This quote reminds us that no matter how on purpose we are, no matter how much we try to do good, we are not perfect. So, don’t give up on your purpose or on doing what you think is right and good. Give it a shot, take that chance - there will be more good done.

12/07/2023

“The only tired I was, was tired of giving in." — Rosa Parks

What are you giving into? Is there someone you can’t say no to? Is there a temptation calling to you? It’s time to stay away; time to make a boundary; time to end or complete. It’s OK and it will take something to do this. You will find the strength to do it and move on. There is no need for something or someone to have control over you. And, you will have more energy available for all that is purposeful.

12/05/2023

“When individuals try to balance self-interest with a consideration of the bigger picture, they discover, as Socrates did, that deep self-interest actually includes concern for the good of the whole.” ~ Louis G. Herman

When you take care of yourself, you are taking care of your family, your friends, and, as Herman suggests, the entire world. This may sound like a heavy burden, however, it is quite simple…do what you do to take care of yourself. There is only one to care for; the rest reap the benefits.

Explore what it takes to care for yourself today.

12/04/2023

Thought for today: “There is nothing as easy as denouncing. It don’t take much to see that something is wrong, but it takes some eyesight to see what will put it right again.” — Will Rogers

It is so easy and automatic to criticize.There is little risk and we feel safe while criticizing. If we stop with the criticism, we lose an opportunity to learn and to make a difference. We may have to get out of our comfort zones, but the payoff is worthwhile. Be willing to be uncomfortable, be willing to learn, be willing to engage, and be willing to make a difference.

12/02/2023

The wise man, the true friend, the finished character we seek everywhere and only find in fragments.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are perfection seeking machines. We seek it in others and in ourselves. But, does the perfect person really exist. Well, I could make a case for each of us being perfect just as we are. But, our minds don’t usually afford us that luxury. So, put being right aside, and seek to experience acceptance of others and yourself. From acceptance, make choices that are supportive of you on this journey and in relationship.

12/02/2023

"Don't overthink it. More is lost by indecision than the wrong decision. Action is more important than perfection. Walk forward, trust that any perceived misstep is just another route to the destination. -- Amber Lyon

Get into action, the inspiration will appear. Trust yourself and take a step. If it’s a misstep, use it as a lesson and learn, then take the next step. No steps are ultimately wasted - learn from each one, share what you learn, explore.

11/30/2023

Today’s message is to remind us of the importance of self-care.

“Fill your cup FIRST…goal setting, gratitude, connection, alone time, nature, movement, rest.” — Herpsychology

On this journey, we might add sleep, and eating well.

You are worthy of being cared for and loved - by you, yourself. Yes, you are worthy of that from others as well, and it must begin with you. What will you do today to care for yourself? What are you dropping out that would make a difference?

11/30/2023

“The past has already been lived. It doesn’t have to be relived. To sacrifice the present and the future by reliving past injuries is not the way of the sages.” — Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche

It’s fine to look to the past for what worked as mentioned yesterday - if something worked to support you on this journey implement it in the present.
However, the pains and arrows do not have to be brought into the present or future except to use them to heal. See if you may bring forgiveness to the person who harmed you and to yourself. Bringing the past hurts into the present just hurts you now and does not provide an opening for healing. Let go, be present, forgive, forgive, forgive (yes, forgiveness is often a moment by moment occurrence).

11/27/2023

Thought for today: “In those situations we think are intolerable, it is often our own resistance that makes them intolerable.” — The Editors of Tricycle Magazine
I’m not sure there is anything I can say that will add value to this message. Once we judge something, someone, some situation intolerable, it becomes so. On its own it is what it is, they are who they are. It’s the judgement we add that creates the impact it has on our lives. What are you creating as being intolerable? What can you change about it?

11/26/2023

“There is no fruit which is not bitter before it is ripe.” — Publilus Syrus

Accept with gratitude whatever progress is being made, however small.

While we take the steps toward our goal, it’s important to notice the progress even amidst the times in which we falter.

11/25/2023

“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know. — Mark Twain

Be mindful of your limitations. It’s ok to say, “I don’t know.” If you are deeply listening, you are giving the gift the other needs, that you need. There is no need for you to know the answer to be able to help another. Your caring listening will always make a difference and allow the other to take the next step.

11/24/2023

“There never were, since the creation of the world, two cases exactly parallel.” — Lord Chesterfield

This has more to do with others that you are on this journey with or that you interact with. It may be that they bring their efforts and struggles to you. Some of these may be similar to yours; however, they are theirs and not yours. Rather than giving advice, or even sharing your experiences, it’s important to bring listening - deep, compassionate listening. Let the other share what is happening for them, their truth as best as they can speak it.
Yes, your experience may help them. Listening first lets them be ready to hear it and learn from it. Remember that it is more about what they need to say and hear than what you want to give them.

11/23/2023

“Mingle your joys sometimes with your earnest occupations.” — Linnaeus

Men can be very somber and joy may be furthest from us. Winning in this life takes something, effort, purpose, commitment, integrity. Sounds like there is not much room for joy. However, we may find and bring joy to ourselves no matter where we are on the journey.

Bring that smile to your face. Feel the warmth inside, be present to the joy.

11/22/2023

“Whatever games are being played with us, we must play no games with ourselves, but deal in our privacy with the last honesty and truth.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s is crucial for success in this journey to continually tell the truth. It will, as the expression goes, set you free.

Who is it important to tell the truth to? Only yourself! You know the truth for you; you must face it, go through it and whatever thoughts, feelings, and emotions it might evoke. You may find it useful to share this with others and that is encouraged as you go through and learn. Learn, find the shift you want to make, and implement that.

11/21/2023

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.

Hope means to desire and consider possible.

As we go along this journey, we will have setbacks, we will have wins; sometimes it will seem as if we are going backward, veering off course, or taking the next step with courage (even while the fear continues). Remember, your goal is possible. Recall your purpose, work the plan, connect with others and share. Take the next step.

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Framingham, MA
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