12/25/2024
A Special Interview with Gunny Wolf!
🎅 Ho ho ho! Checking list twice: Santa Claus coming to Quantico
(Story and Artwork by Charles Wolf)
MARINE CORPS BASE QUANTICO, VA --
According to the map, it should be here, exactly on the X, but nothing is near. Then before me, a magical door, and a voice that asks are you ready for the tour? To my surprise, what do I see, a jolly old man, standing right in front of me. As I exclaim YES! and we proceed through the door, hustle and bustle rumble the floor. Elves’ stack gifts bottom to top, as the jolly old man bellows, “Ho, ho, ho! It’s almost time, Quantico is our first stop!”
“Things have been very busy!” said Santa Claus as he checked his list. “There’s a special warehouse set up specifically for Quantico deliveries, and the elves are scurrying around trying to ensure it is completed.”
With the elves doing this, Mrs. Claus doing that and Santa, well, being Santa, it’s no wonder how it all runs so smooth. Santa explained that things run smoothly because everyone does their part.
“While we do not have actual ranks at the North Pole, there is an established hierarchy,” he said.
Santa admitted, he had learned a thing or two about organization and leadership from the Marine Corps.
One thing he took from the Marine Corps was the situation report or SITREPs, which gives him an update on all things North Pole related.
“Mrs. Claus and I are at the top, with supervisory elves providing a SITREP regularly,” he said. “Amazingly, with over one million elves working at the North Pole Complex, things run quite efficiently.”
The North Pole, he explained, operates a lot like MCB Quantico. There are several commands on his installation, and elves do much more than just make toys for the nice-list children.
He said, “there are food service elves, facility maintenance elves, postal-service elves, even cyber security elves."
Mrs. Claus sweetly interrupted. “Don’t forget the sewing and tailoring elves, dear!”
Although Mrs. Claus takes great pride in overseeing all the preparations, her main priority is taking care of Santa. Known for his love of cookies, Mrs. Claus has a very special technique she uses when she catches Santa sneaking cookies from the cookie jar.
“It’s very effective," she said. "I just give him, the look.”
When Santa is not sneaking cookies, he tries to find ways to improve things around the North Pole. Most notably, his famous red sleigh.
“HO, HO, HO! My sleigh design remains highly classified at the crimson level,” Santa said.
He was reluctant to share the details but said that the Marines helped him improve his sleigh.
“I have been working very closely with the Marine Corps Warfighting Laboratory and futures Directorate.” he shared. “Recently, they’ve added systems to increase delivery speed, while keeping the reindeer safe and a fancy-smanchy command screen with voice recognition.”
He wouldn’t share how fast he travels but said it can get extremely cold for him and the reindeer.
“The magic around the sleigh provides thermal protection,” Santa slipped. “Although a sip of Elf Judy’s 1200-year-old recipe for hot chocolate helps,” he whispered with a quiet ho-ho-ho.
Even though the teamwork at the North Pole gets Santa into the air, there is a lot of work that leads up to that moment. There are scout elves on the ground who report directly back to Santa every night. These elves, attached to Shelf Command, monitor children within their homes to help Santa determine who’s on the naughty or nice list.
“Our mission is candy cane classified”, said Shelf Commander Sam, leader of the scout elves. “Scout elves have magical equipment, but it is compromised when they are touched, so it’s very important everyone in the home keeps this in mind.”
“We lose our magic. and we won’t be able to report back, which can result in those children not making it on the nice list.” said scout elf Chippy, “It takes almost a year in the Shelf-ELF-Hospital to recover after being touched.”
As Santa travels, there really isn’t much time to eat, though. There are simply to many houses to visit across the world in one single night.
“Chow is continuous for me and the reindeer," he said. “So, it’s a huge help to spread reindeer food on your lawn, but don’t forget about me!”
Bellowing out another ho-ho-ho, he said “As for me, I love cookies!!!”
He said for families to not worry too much about the type of cookie. He loves all kinds – except one, though.
The ones that are “BURNT!”
Santa is making the final adjustments to his sleigh and checking his list twice. He has a long day of preparations before the night, where he will visit all the homes across the world.
Each home is unique, he said, but there is something special about Quantico.
“With a gleam in his eye and the holiday nigh," he said, “The Marines and their families hold a special place in our hearts,” he said with a warm tone.
“HO, HO, HO! SEMPER FI, QUANTICO!”
A special thanks to MCCS Quantico & Mr. David Hauber for getting me on Santa's Candy Cane Calendar for the interview!!
MCCS Quantico Quantico Marine Band U.S. Marine Corps National Museum of the Marine Corps Marine Corps Marathon Marine Corps Warfighting Laboratory I Futures Directorate U.S. Marine Corps Officer Candidates School
MCCS HQ The Marine Corps Warfighting Laboratory - MCWL Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps Wounded Warrior Regiment DODEA Crossroads Elementary Quantico Fire & Emergency Services DODEA Crossroads Elementary Marine Security Guard - MSG Duty Security Battalion MCB Quantico Marine Memorial Chapel Quantico USO Quantico Main Quantico Single Marine Program USO Quantico West
