10/02/2025
I’ve gone on 10 dates in the last 5 days. Let me explain. 😄
Last night I made the last-minute decision to attend a speed dating event. The event organizer reached out to me since they had a cancellation and needed another woman to attend in order to have the ideal balance of men and women. I had been to one of their events before and it was just ok - you simply sit and talk to each person for six minutes, then mark on a sheet whether or not you’d like to connect with them further.
I prefer more interesting and experiential ways of connecting (I’ve got my eye on Ta**ra Speed Date 👀, which we don’t yet have in Gainesville) but this was still aligned with my desire to meet more men, and my goodness, just about anything is more enticing than endlessly swiping on the dating apps! 🤪
I decided to go with no expectations of meeting a potential partner, but with a desire simply to connect, and perhaps offer my uplifting feminine energy to the men who were courageously willing to come to an event like this.
And you know what? I actually had fun! A couple of the men were nervous and a bit awkward, so I cracked jokes about none of us ladies being scary, and said things like “well it’s very courageous for you to be here, so kudos to you for that!”
As a raging extrovert, I enjoy meeting new people and finding common ground. Everyone is interesting if you ask them great questions. The coach in me knows that well. 😉
One man totally surprised me by being into yoga and meditation, which his appearance did not suggest (to me, he looked like a hunting/fishing kinda guy) and another man was a fellow entrepreneur so we ended up networking and trading business cards, then laughing about it. 😄
This is likely the longest stretch of being single in my life, so I’ve been using this time to notice how I feel in the presence of different men. It’s been a fascinating exploration. I could tell almost immediately if I felt at ease and relaxed, or a bit guarded. Two of the men were at the first speed dating event I attended a couple months ago (which was a bit uncomfortable because they had both wanted to match with me but I didn’t match with them), and one who kinda annoyed me the first time around seemed a bit kinder this time, and I wonder how much of that was my energy being more grounded and receptive to connection just for the sake of connection.
Eight dates were at speed dating, and two other dates were more of the regular variety, one with a man who cussed and drank too much 🙄, and the other with an attractive and delightful man who is likely way too young for me. 🙃
And yes, all of this occurred in the days leading up to ovulation. 🤣 I will now retreat into my usual routine of only leaving my house for work, dancing, or drumming. I’m really learning a ton about men, though, and finding more compassion for their experience. It’s tough out here for all of us. The more we can connect in real life (not just online), the more we can foster harmony and understanding.
If you’re a single woman and would prefer not to be, I encourage you to imagine what it’s like to desire connection from a man’s perspective. I’ve been hearing about men feeling frustrated that women seem annoyed about being approached by men, even when the man’s intentions are good, or when a man offers a sincere compliment. Many men truly have a desire to please us (”the masculine wants to worship the feminine”, as one man I know phrased it) but we, collectively, have become less receptive. And in some ways, rightly so. Some men have been awful - destructive and dangerous even. But some men are doing their “work” and showing up with authenticity. Let’s not dismiss them, or lump them in with the guys with bad behaviors.
And maybe you’ll join me for the next speed dating adventure... 😊
