05/08/2025
I was recently sitting on my porch enjoying lunch, and chatting with my neighbor and their friend when a white man pulled up next to the house and said "Hey, if you see a black woman walking around here, call 911. She's going around stealing things."I took a deep breath and said "Did she steal something from you?" And he replied that she had taken some important documents that were mailed to him via FedEx. I mustered up enough compassion to say "I'm sorry that happened to you."
My neighbor, who is a white, masculine-presenting non-binary person (and a dear friend), then said to the man "Please don't call the police, dude. Maybe you could just ask her for the documents back?" A garage truck passed by so it was difficult to continue the conversation, plus he was clearly on a mission to retrieve his documents which he thought were important enough to be an "emergency" 🙄 so he drove off, but the encounter really shook me.
For those of you who don't know, I'm biracial or “mixed”, and I live in a historic neighborhood adjacent to the little downtown of a small city. The neighborhood is predominantly white and just a few blocks East, all the neighborhoods are predominantly black. I only know of one black family who lives in my neighborhood, and just a handful of non-white folks of various backgrounds. If you see a black person in my neighborhood, there's a good chance they're just passing through.
Because we're so close to downtown, we occasionally experience petty crimes like bicycles being stolen, or packages being taken off of porches.
And so there was this man, asking us to "call 911" if we "see a black woman". No, sir, I will not be calling an emergency number for what is clearly not an emergency. Also, what was it that he was planning to do if he "caught" her? I honestly considered calling the police on *him* since he was the one driving around angrily looking for someone... What a privilege it must be to have the audacity to assume that emergency services are warranted for your stolen documents.
When I reflect on privilege, I think about my own and how with it comes great responsibility. My light skin, thin body, college education, suburban childhood (even with its trauma), and intelligence (among other things) have positioned me in places where I can open doors for those with less privilege. This is complex as I'm also a member of more than one historically marginalized group so I often feel “othered” in many spaces, too.
I've wondered how differently that porch conversation would have gone had the man known my racial identity, or if I was a black woman myself. I also wonder what could have happened if my mom, who is black, was in town and had decided to go out for a walk. Would my other neighbors follow the man’s request and call the police on her for simply existing?
If you're white, I encourage you to read this thoughtful writing linked below about white privilege, then share it with your friends. Once you’ve read it, I’d love to know what insights you perhaps gain, or other thoughts or feelings it brings up for you. 💓
Recognizing white privilege begins with truly understanding the term itself.
