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01/07/2025
It's Just Hair, but It's Not - my identity as a biracial woman, and how I am perceived
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I recently started a loc journey, so my identity as it relates to my hair - and how I am perceived in the world as an ethnically ambiguous person - is on my mind.
People seem to treat me quite differently based on my hairstyle. When I had chemically straightened hair (commonly called a โrelaxerโ, as if my curls and coils were too tenseโฆ) and worked in corporate America, I was palatable enough to get respect, at least some of the time.
A notable exception was the time I got about a hundred gorgeous braids while on a cruise to the Bahamas, only to arrive back at the office and get called into HR to say that the small, wooden beads on the end of each braid were a violation of the (racist ๐) dress code. I spend several hours that night after work taking out those braids, and crying.
In the Black community, there's a saying that we have to "work twice as hard for half as much", and gaining respect as a woman - and especially as a woman of color - in that kind of environment was a challenge indeed.
When my hair is curly, people view me as friendly and approachable. When my hair is in braids/extensions, Black and brown folks recognize me as one of their own, which I very much enjoy. And then there are the brief moments of blowing out my hair into an epic, fluffy afro just before getting braidsโฆ
When I was bald (which only lasted briefly - my hair grows *fast*), people seemed to either think I was sick and undergoing chemo, or that I was just a punk weirdo. This was way more fun than I had imagined, and my goodness, I had literal hours of newly free time! ๐ Being bald also freed up loads of mental space: no more plotting out "wash day" each week, or factoring in time to style my hair before leaving the house. And showers were a whole new sensory delight! โบ๏ธ
I truly think that every woman should shave her head at least once in her lifetime. It was exhilarating and liberating. And much to my surprise, I felt more powerfully feminine than ever. ๐
๐ฝ
And then there are the rare times I throw on a wig. Most recently was maybe a year ago with my boyfriend at the time. The result was his best friend scolding him for seemingly cheating on me after he saw us out together from across a room. ๐ Sometimes it's fun to be a chameleon. โบ๏ธ
I've had natural locs in the past but had done them myself, so they got messy quickly. I didn't have the support of YouTube University and a local Emmy Award-nominated loctician, like I do now. Still, I'm a little worried that I'll look like a "dirty hippie" white girl. I'm not white, though. I'm also not Black. And I'm also both of those (not the dirty hippie part, though if that's you, then you do you, boo).
I often feel like I fit in everywhere and nowhere simultaneously. People speak Spanish to me in salsa dance classes. A random woman on the street last week shouted โAre you Brazilian? You look Brazilian!โ at me. A UF professor who works with international students once (accurately) guessed part of my background to be Ukrainian, which was a first. I'm not sure that anyone has ever guessed my background accurately, which is sometimes fun and sometimes annoying depending on the context, their vibes, and my mood at the time.
I'm curious to see how I'm perceived and how I'm treated as my hair evolves. Will wealthy home organizing clients with racist tendencies still hire me and my team? Will old white women still touch my hair without my consent (which has happened three times in the last month alone - three!)? Will I abandon the process when it gets hard, and shave my head again? ๐ We shall see...
I do love a good transformation journeyโฆ
๐๐ฝ
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