10/02/2023
Ladies and gentlemen, we gather here today to bid farewell to a dear friend, a companion who stood by us through thick and thin, a companion who never once complained about our countless cat photos and videos. Today, we mourn the passing of our beloved hard drive.
Oh, what a life it led! From the moment it was born in that factory, it knew it was destined for greatness—or at least, raw file editing. It stored our cherished memories, our important documents, and yes, even the embarrassing pictures from KRP behind the scenes and shenanigans.
Our hard drive was truly a trooper. It never judged us for our questionable taste in music or that time we saved a million screenshots to “look at later” for them to never be viewed again. It was there when we needed it, silently spinning its platters and flashing its LEDs, as if to say, "I've got your back."
And let's not forget the moments when it saved us from certain disaster, like when it managed to resuscitate the files that mysteriously vanished at the 11th hour. It was our digital guardian angel, always ready to step in and save the day.
But, as with all things, our hard drive had its limitations. It suffered in silence as we relentlessly filled it with pictures of our clients getting engaged and married, families laughing, some super sexy photos of some truly badass women, and even some of your grandparents' last photos. It must have felt like it was carrying the weight of the digital world on its shoulders.
Then came that fateful day when it decided, "I've had enough!" It bravely flashed its final error message, and there was no turning back. We'll never forget the sound it made, that dreadful clicking noise, like a tired drummer in a rock band's farewell tour.
So, as we say goodbye to our dear friend today, let us remember the good times. Let us cherish the moments when our hard drive was there for us, silently storing our secrets and precious memories. It may be gone, but its spirit lives on in the cloud, where it can now hang out with all the other hard drives that have moved on to that great data center in the sky.
Rest in peace, dear hard drive. You've spun your last platter and clicked your last click. You will be missed, but your legacy of laughter, tears, and storage space will live on forever in our hearts and in the digital realm. Farewell, old friend, farewell!