Anchor Valley Trivia

04/22/2025

HEATED MATCH ENDS IN TIE

After last Wednesday’s Anchor Valley Trivia competition, it’s safe to say two things: 1) the vast majority of people recognize the titles of Stevie Wonder songs, especially when you say them twice; and 2) we, as a nation, have lost our way when it comes to one of our most hallowed institutions, the U.S. Postal Service. Had anyone kept their postal knowledge current, we might not have gone into the bonus round with only two points separating the top five teams. As it was, the highest anyone could manage in the controversial* “Signed, Sealed Delivered” category was a six, leaving us with a logjam as we went into the bonus.

In fact, many of the categories (each named after a Stevie Wonder song) gave our competitors problems. Through regulation play, the team(s) with the highest score could do no better than an average of slightly less than seven out of ten for each category.

It began, as it always does, with Current Events. Current Events is a bit of a wildcard. This is because the Trivia Master refuses to include the crucial current events of the day, leaning instead toward more obscure questions about B-list actors who have died, self-driving trucks and Italian fashion. The Trivia Master will not apologize, however, for including a question about Sarah Palin, of only to drive home the point that nothing is less permanent than being yesterday’s news.

The Pollenators, who’ve worn the belt twice in the past six weeks, came out of that category in the lead with seven points, one up on five other teams. From there they locked into a spirited battle with 5 Bottles In AKA Menage a (fill in the blank) that lasted all night, ending in that rarest of trivia finishes: a tie, which is less like kissing your sister when you each receive a lucrative $25 gift certificate rather than sharing one.

The two teams held off challenges from the RaySpots (One point behind the co-winners with 43, no longer the team that folds in the late going and in fact on the verge of breaking through; we’re watching you, RaySpots) and, in a three-way tie for fourth, the Magnetos, Celebrating and in fact exceeding Mediocrity and our visiting team from the San Francisco Bay Area whose name is not suitable for these pages with 41 points each.

These five teams were followed closely by Norm (and the Caregivers) with 40 and the Winnies with 39. The Winnies struggled early, as they sometimes do, and surged late, as they always do, this time after changed their name back to Winnie’s Winners. Coincidence or causality?

Bringing up the rear were newcomers Just Kidding, who may have finished in the cellar but impressed all comers with their enthusiasm and get this reminder: it was only four weeks ago that Celebrating Mediocrity was in your shoes. Now they contend for the title.

Here are your awards for April 16:

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA UPDATE: Seager returned from Injured Reserve this week but was relegated to the far-off table in the front of the room, which made it difficult to know which random outbursts were coming from Seager and which were coming from Norm. On the fashion side, Seager wore a slick onesie while Hadley debuted a frilled ensemble from her summer collection.

SPEAKING OF NORM: The sunglasses aren’t fooling us, Norm. We know it’s you. And welcome back, Julie. We missed you.

EIGHT TEAMS SAID CLEOPATRA WAS BITTEN BY AN ASP, AND THEY’RE NOT WRONG: But it takes an International Man of Mystery to pull out the conflicting belief of Roman historians who say she was poisoned. Good work, Magneto Trenton.

BEST APPEAL TO THE HEAVENS: You’re breaking my heart, Just Kidding, with the arms held outstretched to the sky.

#4 WITH A BULLET: Don’t be surprised if you see Celebrating Mediocrity wearing the belt soon. They’ve flirted with the win twice in a row and when they do win we’re going to hold an exorcism for their name.

MOST TOPICAL TEAM NAME: The Pollenators included a team member who, like many of us, is suffering from terrible allergies.


WORST CATEGORY: Signed, Sealed, Delivered, obviously. An entire category of questions whose bland obscurity placed them squarely in Goddard range* (this refers to the worst question of all time, about the inventor of liquid rocket fuel) and disappointed the Trivia Master, who thought he was being really clever.

EXCEPT FOR THIS: Roe liked it and showed me a photo of her dad in his mailman uniform afterward .

DESPERATE TIMES CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES: After scoring 8 points over the first two categories, the Winnies broke their months-long commitment to re-naming themselves, went back to the classic Winnie’s Winners and scored more points (31) over the last four categories than any other team.

SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER HEAR: The inevitable series of sophomoric double-entendre names I got from the group of successful, middle-aged dads in town to play trivia on Wednesday and then golf with me on the weekend. I will admit that Hugh Jazz cracked me up, though.

THOU DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH: Nobody, except maybe my golf buddy who wouldn’t shut up about it on Thursday, hated Signed, Sealed, Delivered more than Beth of the RaySpots, which didn’t prevent her team was scoring the most points in the category, a respectable six.

80% OF BRICE IS ENOUGH: 5 Bottles In team member Brice has lost some 60 pounds over the past few months but was robust enough to play a big role in his team’s shared win. We are expecting some nimble moves during your team’s victory walk-up, Brice.

That’s all for now — remember, April is a five-week month and there is no trivia on the 30th. Our next trivia session is May 7.

04/16/2025

Getting ready for trivia tonight and marveling at all of the insane superstitions in the world. How about you?

04/07/2025

ICE MAN PAYS TRIBUTE, WALKS AWAY WITH THE WIN

It was a touching nod to the recently departed Val Kilmer and their second win in three tries as the team from South Loop named themselves “Ice Man” and then rode a perfect bonus round to take home the Anchor Valley trivia belt last Wednesday. Rumors that team members were later spotted having dinner with the Trivia Master are unsubstantiated.

In recognition of his partial freedom from spasmodic coughing, the Trivia Master rolled out some pretty manageable categories on this night. Even the categories that were perceived as difficult, like Country Song/Fictitious Character Quote, were handled easily by the eight teams assembled. In the end the margin of victory was as slim as knowing the fourth teams to reach the 2025 women’s and men’s Final Fours — literally. The Norms, who went into the bonus clinging to a one-point lead, did not know who the fourth teams were; the Ice Man did. Ice celebrated a one-point win while Tanner of the Norms, celebrating the last few days of his 34th year, moaned, “Don’t look at us!” Upon learning of his team’s second-place finish.

Play was tight throughout. Prior to the bonus, no more than six points separated first and eighth place. Several teams notched perfect rounds and in fact the Norms and Ice Man had three each, including a perfect Car Chase/Car Race opener for the Norms, staking them to the lead they wouldn’t surrender until evening’s end. The Winnies, who as usual cycled through several permutations of the Winnie name, scored 29 points over the last three categories, ultimately finishing third, followed by last week’s winners, now called Mix Tape, whose challenges in both NCAA basketball and gardening doomed them to fourth.

Next came the RaySpots, back at full strength but with Spot suffering through post-root canal trauma, and then Celebrating Mediocrity, who freed themselves from mediocrity during the evening only to embrace celibacy at the end. Rounding out the scoring were the Stars & David, whose name included a subtle Talmudic nod much appreciated by the Trivia Master but whose choice to try and outwit said question-asker during Country Song/Quote proved to be their undoing, and We Drink, whose journey this night went from knowing things to guessing things to, finally and simply, thinking.

Here are your awards for April 2:

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA UPDATE: With Seager still languishing on Injured Reserve, Hadley pounced on the opportunity for a clear runway, downing cucumbers to ease her teething discomfort and making eye contact with the Trivia Master at every opportunity. Seager faces an uphill battle when he comes back but is rumored to be rehabbing fiercely to speed up his return.

TOO CLEVER BY HALF: Nice try, Stars & David. Everyone seemed flummoxed by Country Song/Quote and everyone flirted with guaranteeing themselves a sure five points by writing the same answer 10 times. It seemed like the safe play. No one predicted that the average score (for teams that did not write in the same answer 10 times) would be nine, leaving your squad with a four-point deficit.

EASIEST CATEGORY EVER: It seemed that you’d need to be over 40, maybe 50, to nail Vintage Board Game Plot Summaries. This turned out not to be true. Six out of eight teams got perfect scores and the scoffing was non-stop, despite the absence of scoffing savant Brian. Even We Drink (and Know Things), by then battered and struggling, managed a few scoffs.

MOST COURAGEOUS PLAYER: The next time you’re scheduled for a root canal, do what Spot did and schedule it on a trivia day. What better way to get through an unpleasant dental procedure than to imagine the delights that await you, post-root canal, at Anchor Valley?

COUNTRY SONG TITLE LEFT OUT OF SONGS/QUOTES CATEGORY: “Get your tongue out of my mouth, I’m kissing your goodbye,” by Ray Stevens.

BEST NAME EVOLUTION: It took five rounds and a bonus but the journey from “Celebrating Mediocrity” to “Non-celibate Mediocrity” was worth the trip.

NON-BASKETBALL FANS: They drink and they know things, but their two-point bonus round reverse-vaulted We Drink and We Know Things from fifth place to the cellar. In general, apologies for the one-note bonus round. Next time we will embrace (categorical) diversity.

BEST BOOTS AND VEST STATEMENT: Magneto/Stars & David mainstay Jeff’s vest game is every bit as strong as his son’s commitment to cardigan sweaters. In fact, Jeff only wears vests from Filson Outfitters and pairs them with RM Williams boots from Australia. Those Blundstones favored by the Trivia Master are very pedestrian in comparison.

BEST COMMEMORATION: If you go to Ice Man team members Steve and Roe’s house right now, you will find a framed dinner napkin with their (correct) answers to the (obviously notable, since I’ve now mentioned it four times) Song Titles/Quotes category. Underneath it says “10/10. April 2, 2025. The framed napkin was presented to them at a dinner party Saturday night by Nice Guy Mike, who was clearly impacted by this historic feat.

04/02/2025

It’s trivia day and I don’t know about you but I’m going to spend part of it reflecting on all the great board games I played as a kid.

03/25/2025

DEALERS CHOICE CHOOSES VICTORY AS TRIVIA MASTER COUGHS

On a night that featured more coughs than quips, Wednesday’s AV Trivia competition went to the wire. It took a perfect bonus round to secure the win for Dealers’ Choice, whose total of 52 points was one more than upstarts Celebrating Mediocrity, just enough for possession of the championship belt until April 2, the next scheduled trivia event.

However, for much of the night it looked like Mediocrity would rule. The team built on the foundation of last week’s cellar-dwellers roared out to the early lead with a perfect Current Events round, correctly noting that John Cena had turned heel, Everclear would be playing the Craterian on September 9 and that Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams have been lost in space for the past nine months. They held the lead through two of the evening’s cleverly-named categories before falling into a tie with Dealers Choice in categories four (Movin’ on Up) and five (Good Times). Ultimately, an incomplete knowledge base about the acting Phoenix children (they didn’t realize Joaquin and Leaf were the same person) doomed their spirited push.

Four points behind Mediocrity were defending champs March Madness, who also flirted with the lead well into the evening. It’s tempting to call their bonus round a collapse but once you’ve decided that River Phoenix had a sister named “Helena” there’s not much more to talk about, is there? Despite their struggles, they kept a single point between themselves and the Winnies, re-named on this evening to honor the upcoming first birthday of pending Official Baby of Anchor Valley Trivia Seager. The re-named Seagers scored 19 points over the last two rounds but could not escape fourth place, seven points ahead of the RaySpots, who were forced to perform sans the spirited Beth, whose respiratory challenges were apparently greater than those of the Trivia Master. Her absence was felt strongly, so much so that even the inevitable Jim departure halfway through the evening couldn’t lift the RaySpots out of fifth.

Behind them, in sixth with a curious 31.5 points, was Trio Magneto, awarded a bonus half-point for halfway identifying the winner of the 2025 Best Actor Oscar as “Adrian.” Yo. They were followed by Pantone 158 AKA Giants Orange, one-half point back at 31 but, as always, spirited and lifted a bit by the end, however temporarily, of their L.A. Dodgers affiliation. Finally, in eighth place, were newcomers Colleen and Aaron, who might have escaped the cellar had they stuck around for the bonus round. Colleen and Aaron, we hardly knew ye.

Here are your awards for the week:

EXPANDING ROLE AWARD: To the Sergeant-at-Arms, who added “nursemaid” to her duties this week. Forced during an early category to run to Ray’s for something, anything cough-suppressing, she returned with a bag of Hall’s cough drops, which the Trivia Master then abused like Scarface sitting in front of a mound of co***ne.

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA UPDATE: It was, sadly, a baby-free week at Anchor Valley Trivia. Neither Hadley (all Norms AWOL) nor Seager (illness) attended, though Seager’s first birthday, which came one day later, is a very important intangible that gives him this week's edge.

BIGGEST TURNAROUND AWARD: In an email sent to the Trivia Master, Jill of Celebrating Mediocrity promised to be at full strength this week; she wasn’t kidding. Fully-stocked with bearded men, Celebrating Mediocrity was anything but this week and came to the brink of victory before being turned away at the door by erratic thespian Joaquin “Leaf” Phoenix.

BEST CARDIGAN: This award is perpetual. Each week, it goes to Trent of the Magnetos. His cardigan game is unsurpassed.

TOO CLEVER?: Tonight’s categories were all the titles of theme songs from Norman Lear sitcoms, drawing a eye-rolling, poorly-timed “nobody’s going to know what those are” from the Sergeant-at-Arms moments before play began. Five of seven teams got this bonus question correct.

KID > DOG REALITY: Winnie shows up every week, sits quietly, bothers no one. Her reward? To have her name stripped from her team's identity. It’s a kid’s world, Winnie. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

80'S KIDS: Minus team mainstays Sherri and Brice (am I remembering that this information reached the team minutes before play began?) and a bit short of the correct demographic age, Dealers’ Choice nevertheless scored a perfect 10/10 on Those Were the Days, demonstrating a broad knowledge base of the best decade in which to be a teenager and the method by which Michael Milken attempted to bilk the entire world out of its fortune in 1989.

BEST DISGRUNTLED RESPONSE: Spot of the RaySpots didn’t like the Movin’ on Up category. His response to an innocent “How are you guys liking this category?” Was to draw an emphatic, downward-facing arrow on his mini-whiteboard.

LATE RESPONSE: I did, in fact, get the shouted out joke about how Andrew Carnegie made his fortune in “Melons.” It just took me a while.

INNOCENTS: Almost every team thought there was no way Snoop Dogg had every directed a p***o movie. Surprise! The thing Snoop’s never done is coach high school football.


FREE AT LAST FREE AT LAST:

“I see you’re not Pantone 294 anymore. What’s Pantone 158?”

“Look it up.”

What would've really impressed me? If you’d changed your name to Hex Code .

03/19/2025

It's trivia day, a time to gather with friends and rivals, to raise a glass (and a championship belt) and, if you're old enough, a time to remember how great things were in the 1980s.

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03/10/2025

MARCH MADNESS NOTCHES JIM-DANDY COME-FROM-BEHIND WIN

Last Wednesday’s trivia competition was the closest in recent memory. Only two points separated the top four teams at the end of regulation play, with two — the RaySpots and March Madness — tied at the top. It took a robust bonus round to sort it out with first-time winners March Madness coming out victorious.

It was a somewhat surprising turn of events. March Madness floundered for the first half of play and sat in fourth place after three rounds, but the team from South Loop rallied, using a perfect 10 in the AFI’s Top Movie Quotes round to vault themselves into competition and then scoring 9/10 in the bonus round to nail down the win.

Three teams tied for second, one point behind the leaders. Two of them, the RaySpots and the revitalized Menage a (We won’t be bullied into calling ourselves what you want us to call ourselves), AKA That 70s Team, seemed pleased with their finish. “We didn’t collapse,” announced buoyant RaySpot Beth afterward, wondering aloud if the mid-game departure of team member Jim “had anything to do” with her team’s new stamina. As for the Menages, they were also sitting fourth after three rounds and sandwiched two perfect rounds around a dreadful (three correct) State Capitals round to come up just short of the win.

It was difficult to read the faces of the Winnies after this one. Looking for the rare three-peat, the two-time champions played from behind all night then surged at the end, only to fall a single point short of making history. It was with a resigned expression that Team Captain Erick shuffled out of the room.

Rounding out the scoring we had We Drink and We Know Things in fifth place with their growing confidence very clear throughout the night. In sixth place, one point behind We Drink and seven points off the lead, was multi-generational Cinco Magneto who had the evening’s most consistent performance, save for a woeful State Capitals (they were not alone) round.

Next came the Norms, unable to shake the Couch Curse after sprinting out to first place in rounds one and two. Their collapse was RaySpots-esque and culminated in a “perfect” and record-tying zero in State Capitals. They were followed by Eschewing (and eventually Embracing) Mediocrity, a simple mother-and-son team whose struggles riveted everyone else in the room. They may have finished eighth, but these underdogs were clearly number one in all of our hearts. Please come back, E/E Mediocrity.

Now how about some awards?

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA UPDATE: For the first time in six weeks both Hadley and Seager were present for this heated competition. This week Hadley unleashed her newest weapon: the ability to sit upright unaided. Meanwhile, Seager showcased his new verbal skills, occasionally shouting out syllables that are not yet words, something he is rumored to have learned from watching Norm.

NOBODY CARES: Apparently the Serbian parliament can engage in everything short of hand-to-hand combat to prevent laws from being passed and we will all think it happened in Germany, Turkey, the Philippines, anywhere but Serbia.


SHERI SUTLIFFE WATCH: Sheri is no longer shouting “Yes!” When a question is multiple choice. We may have to suspend this activity as her silence has become unnerving to the Trivia Master.

WORST QUESTION OF THE NIGHT: The smallest state capital is Montpelier, Vermont, population 8,074. Who, besides Bernie Sanders, cares?

MVP: It’s one thing to sit in for the esteemed Sergeant-at-Arms. It’s another to do it when you didn’t know you’d be doing it five minutes before competition began. Hats off to Kylee, the interim Sergeant-at-Arms, whose bonus is that she’s also the In-House Counsel.

LANGUAGE LESSON: In Germany, “gymnasium” is pronounced “gimNASium.” Thanks, Sue.

BEST SPELLING OF SHEDEUR SANDERS: DeShawn.

RECORD-TYING: Never let it be said that the members of Norm (and the Caregivers) don’t know about state capitals. Okay, let it be said. Actually, they said it themselves, actually, right after entering their names in the record books under “lowest score in a single round.”

FLOP SWEAT MOMENT: Two teams had Honolulu as the answer to “Name the only U.S. capital not reachable by interstate highway, forcing the Trivia Master to do some quick googling on his phone. Apparently Hawaii’s H1, H2 and H3 are interstate highways, though I can’t imagine how.

WE HOPE THEY COME BACK AWARD: To America’s Sweethearts, Jill and Sam; you may not have won the game, but you won our hearts. Also, your mid-game name change was brilliant.

OUT OF NOWHERE: We Drink and We Know Things, confidence restored and enthusiasm growing with each round, scored a perfect 10 on AFI’s Top 100 Movie Quotes.

YOUR COMMUTE IS NOW PART OF MY PROCESS: Part of the Trivia Master’s process is the pre-game walk down the hill to get his head right. Lately part of that walk is passing the Magnetos, loaded up into their giant Toyota Tundra and cruising into town. They always slow down and say hi.

03/05/2025

Who’s ready for some trivia? I know I am… just as soon as I finish up reading about Oregon City. Did you know it was the first capital of Oregon?

02/25/2025

WINNIES CRUISE TO SECOND WIN IN A ROW

Anchor Valley Trivia emerged from its own personal snowbank last Wednesday, coming back at 60% capacity after an unplanned storm day scrapped competition on February 6. Among the missing: the Norms and the Death Star, leaving in their absence six very motivated teams: The RaySpots, Trio Magneto, the OG Menage a Trois, second-timers Best Guess, super team Fly Eagles Fly and the defending champs the Winnies, now calling themselves Westwinster Abbey.

The evening began on a confusing note, as the Trivia Master, voluntarily pressed into service as DJ, messed up the Winnies’ walk-up music, subbing out a Taylor Swift song for their preferred Guns ’n’ Roses track. The confusion was short-lived, fortunately, Winnie carried the championship belt straight to the Champion’s Lounge and the teams quickly settled into competition.

Round one was a particularly difficult Current Events, with teams struggling to identify the locale of the inaugural Esports Olympics (Riyadh, Saudi Arabia) and exactly which 90s boy band has a residency at The Sphere this summer (The Backstreet Boys). The RaySpots, as usual, emerged with the early lead.

From that point forward, however, it was all Winnies, all day; as the team’s name changed to Winniechester ’73, Anchor Winnie, Winnie’s Circle, Walking in a Winnie Wonderland and finally, to Win & Tonic, the team consistently won rounds, taking the lead in the Ice, Ice Baby round and holding it to the end, hitting the finish line with a comfortable four-point win.

Don’t let this lull you into thinking the evening was a cakewalk, though; behind the Winnies were four teams that finished a single point apart — Menage a Trois and the RaySpots, who’ve come a long way since the days of the predictable collapse, tied for second, with the surging Best Guess and Fly Eagles Fly, basically Pantone 294 plus Nice Guy Mike, Steve and Roe, one point back. Trio Magneto, who know a lot about Australia but apparently not much about California, brought up the rear.

Regardless of their finish, all teams exited the premises confident in the knowledge that diamonds are commonly referred to as “ice” and the Beverly Hillbillies cast member whose father was the heavyweight champion of the world in 1934 was Jethro.

Here are this week’s awards:

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA UPDATE: Seager had the floor to himself this week and capitalized on the opportunity. Most notably, he at one point smiled at the Trivia Master from behind his Nuk while simultaneously holding a teething ring in one hand. That’s a 6.7 on the difficulty scale. An impressive feat, indeed.

WORST QUESTION OF THE NIGHT: The Esports question was received angrily by all; not just Beth.

RIGHT UP MY ALLEY AWARD: This goes to Ron of Fly Eagles Fly nee Pantone 294, who knows that a traditional Sazerac doesn’t have ice like he knows his own family. Ron has offered the Trivia Master a Sazerac more than once at his house.

BEST SARCASTIC CHEER: Trenton “International Man of Mystery” Hoyal. Hands down. Repeatedly.

BEST PERFORMANCE ART: The Trivia Master always appreciates Menage a (Fill in the Blank) head honcho Sheri, but the subtlety of her gradually waning multiple choice question “Yes!” added a sense of the avant garde to the proceedings. What began the night as a tight, controlled “Yes!” diminished gradually until it was by evening’s end a barely perceptible nod. It’s all about the journey, folks.

NICE GUY MIKE, THE SCIENCE GUY: Kudos to Mike, AKA MC Squareback, of Fly Eagles Fly for being the only person in the room who knows that the freezing point of water measured in Kelvin is 273 degrees.

BROKE THE CURSE: Speaking of Fly Eagles Fly, six weeks after vacating the site due to a “curse,” the former Pantone 294 returned to the couch in the back and finished a respectable five points off the lead. Ryan, and Tanner of the Norms, if you’re reading this: it’s safe to come back.

BEST ANGRY RESPONSE: Best Guess, you’ve only come twice so I don’t know your names yet, but one of your team members at one point burst out of his seat to argue a call, which I thought was fantastic. Or maybe he was getting a drink and happened to be standing up. I’m going to keep thinking he burst out of his seat. It’s better that way. And also…

LOW SELF-ESTEEM AWARD: To Best Guess, who proved this week that they do drink and know things and were not, in fact, guessing.

PATRICK EWING AWARD: This goes to Jim of the Ray Spots, who, like Patrick Ewing, exited with his team struggling (in this case, Jim left after the second round with the RaySpots in fourth place) only to have the team thrive in his absence (the RaySpots finished tied for second and DID NOT FADE at the end). Jim, I hope your teammates lied to you when you asked about it later.

That’s all for this week; see you all on March 5.

02/19/2025

Don't let a little rain stop you from coming to trivia tonight (or to tomorrow's event) and remember, it could be worse: we could be in California. Some people love it, but not me.

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02/10/2025

Shout-out to trivia mainstay Nice Guy Mike, who teamed with his wife (and one-time trivia attendee) Lori and their son John to win this week's Current Events pop quiz. Team MC scored an 8 out of 10 and were one of the only entries to know that Pat Riley trademarked the term "three-peat" in 1988!

See you all next Wednesday, the 19th, for more trivia!

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02/05/2025

Sadly, tonight's trivia clue is that there's no trivia tonight, due to buckets of snow that are preventing anyone who doesn't live in Jacksonville from making it to Anchor Valley.

Just to keep the juices flowing, I have included the questions from this evening's proposed Current Events category in a just-sent group email. If you are not on the email and would like to be, please message me.

See you all February 19!

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01/27/2025

WINNIFEST DESTINY ACHIEVED

In the long, storied history of Anchor Valley Trivia, no team has responded to their own victory quite how E=MC Hammer did last Wednesday. Faced with a choice of either showing up and defending the championship belt or skipping the session and vacating their title, E=MC Hammer (AKA “The Death Star”) chose neither. Instead, they sent team member Jay as a sole representative of the Hammer Initiative, unfortunately without letting him in on the plan. Jay was game, renamed his team “Solo” and then make a quick call to his wife, who arrived during Round 2. The makeshift squad finished the evening in eighth place and the championship belt moved on.

The winners this week were Winnie’s Winners, AKA Winslow Shot, Super Villain, AKA Winnie Testeverde, AKA Winnefest Destiny, who lurked just off the lead almost the entire night and didn’t lock up their win until the Bonus Round. They ended the evening with 47 points, two up on Moist January and four ahead of the RaySpots, whose encouraging evening also ended with a strong Bonus performance, undoing their usual late-round swoon and providing some optimism for the team’s chances as we move further into 2025.

Behind them, in fourth place, were Guys and Dolls, this week’s version of Menage a (Where is Molly?). Still a little shaky despite the return of team MVP Molly the Trivia Maven, GAD finished five points off the lead, one point behind the RaySpots and five ahead of this week’s rookie standouts We Drink and We Know Things. Despite a growing team morale issue that led to a gradual breakdown of their team name throughout the evening (by Round Five their answer sheet was titled, simply, “We Drink.”), WEAWKT stood in the middle of the pack all evening, showing impressive knowledge about Australia and countries/cities that have changed their names.

Behind them was Trio Magneto; the team from Woodbury Lane, now brimming with clues and a secret — one team member has lived in Australia — shined early but tailed off late, following the example of the neighboring RaySpots to a sixth-place finish, three ahead of Pantone 294 and well in front of Solo/At Least She Loves Me and the shocker of the night, a last-place finish from former two-time champs Norm (and the Caregivers). More on them below.

Here are your awards for January 22:

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA UPDATE: Seager was sidelined tonight, opening up a pathway for Hadley, who capitalized on the opportunity by smiling at the Sergeant-at-Arms at least three times, cooing and sporting a couture onesie perhaps more at home on the runways of Milan than in our humble town.

GOOD SPORT AWARD: Gotta give this to Jay of E=MC Hammer, who thought he was rolling into his usual spot on his usual dominant team, only to find himself a man alone, which was not received in low-key fashion by the rest of the room or by the Trivia Master. Give it up for Jay.

VERY SUPERSTITIOUS, PART 1: Pantone vacated their usual couch in the back of the room, seemingly to allow the more expansive Norms the extra space. However, late in the evening, as the Norms flailed in a way we haven’t seen for months, Norms team member Tanner revealed the true reason for the move: “They said this spot is bad luck,” he muttered, “and I think they’re right.”

VERY SUPERSTITIOUS, PART 2: Also the quote of the evening, from victorious Winnie team Captain Erick, who played — and won — sans his usual crew of wife, infant son and dog: “I guess they won't be coming anymore.”

RAYSPOTS IMPERSONATION AWARD: Buoyed by new members Andrea and Pat, Moist January went into the final round tied for first place but ran into a buzzsaw of questions about fast cars, fast runners and everything else fast and watched as the fast Winnies flew past them for the win.

QUICK STUDIES AWARD: They Drink and they Know — some — Things; one of the things they know now is to enthusiastically cheer for themselves when their score is announced. That only took one round so congratulations, We Drink and We Know Things: you are this week’s Top Rookie Team!

WHAT ARE FULLY ARMED AND OPERATIONAL RAYSPOTS CAPABLE OF? We saw a hint of it this week as the Spots, mini white boards at the ready, led after Current Events, ran second after two rounds, then went into their familiar tailspin — only to right the ship during the bonus round and finish third.

SUFFERING IN SILENCE AWARD: The Trivia Master sees all and what he saw this week was an increasingly unhappy Pantone 294 member Ryan, who, despite shrewdly vacating the bad luck couch at the back of the room wore a vacant expression and sank lower and lower into his seat every time the scores were announced.

SECRET QUIPSTER AWARD: What you don’t know is that usually once an evening, Menage a/Guys and Dolls mainstay Seth manages to toss out a little quip to me while on his way to the bathroom. This evening’s was, as usual, thought-provoking and logical and based on the question about which is worth more U.S. Dollars, the Australian Dollar or the Canadian Dollar. “Do you mean here, in this room?” He murmured as he passed. “They’re both worth nothing.”

That’s all for this week; see you on February 5, when we return to our usual first-and-third Wednesdays schedule.