Anchor Valley Trivia

03/19/2025

It's trivia day, a time to gather with friends and rivals, to raise a glass (and a championship belt) and, if you're old enough, a time to remember how great things were in the 1980s.

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03/10/2025

MARCH MADNESS NOTCHES JIM-DANDY COME-FROM-BEHIND WIN

Last Wednesday’s trivia competition was the closest in recent memory. Only two points separated the top four teams at the end of regulation play, with two — the RaySpots and March Madness — tied at the top. It took a robust bonus round to sort it out with first-time winners March Madness coming out victorious.

It was a somewhat surprising turn of events. March Madness floundered for the first half of play and sat in fourth place after three rounds, but the team from South Loop rallied, using a perfect 10 in the AFI’s Top Movie Quotes round to vault themselves into competition and then scoring 9/10 in the bonus round to nail down the win.

Three teams tied for second, one point behind the leaders. Two of them, the RaySpots and the revitalized Menage a (We won’t be bullied into calling ourselves what you want us to call ourselves), AKA That 70s Team, seemed pleased with their finish. “We didn’t collapse,” announced buoyant RaySpot Beth afterward, wondering aloud if the mid-game departure of team member Jim “had anything to do” with her team’s new stamina. As for the Menages, they were also sitting fourth after three rounds and sandwiched two perfect rounds around a dreadful (three correct) State Capitals round to come up just short of the win.

It was difficult to read the faces of the Winnies after this one. Looking for the rare three-peat, the two-time champions played from behind all night then surged at the end, only to fall a single point short of making history. It was with a resigned expression that Team Captain Erick shuffled out of the room.

Rounding out the scoring we had We Drink and We Know Things in fifth place with their growing confidence very clear throughout the night. In sixth place, one point behind We Drink and seven points off the lead, was multi-generational Cinco Magneto who had the evening’s most consistent performance, save for a woeful State Capitals (they were not alone) round.

Next came the Norms, unable to shake the Couch Curse after sprinting out to first place in rounds one and two. Their collapse was RaySpots-esque and culminated in a “perfect” and record-tying zero in State Capitals. They were followed by Eschewing (and eventually Embracing) Mediocrity, a simple mother-and-son team whose struggles riveted everyone else in the room. They may have finished eighth, but these underdogs were clearly number one in all of our hearts. Please come back, E/E Mediocrity.

Now how about some awards?

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA UPDATE: For the first time in six weeks both Hadley and Seager were present for this heated competition. This week Hadley unleashed her newest weapon: the ability to sit upright unaided. Meanwhile, Seager showcased his new verbal skills, occasionally shouting out syllables that are not yet words, something he is rumored to have learned from watching Norm.

NOBODY CARES: Apparently the Serbian parliament can engage in everything short of hand-to-hand combat to prevent laws from being passed and we will all think it happened in Germany, Turkey, the Philippines, anywhere but Serbia.


SHERI SUTLIFFE WATCH: Sheri is no longer shouting “Yes!” When a question is multiple choice. We may have to suspend this activity as her silence has become unnerving to the Trivia Master.

WORST QUESTION OF THE NIGHT: The smallest state capital is Montpelier, Vermont, population 8,074. Who, besides Bernie Sanders, cares?

MVP: It’s one thing to sit in for the esteemed Sergeant-at-Arms. It’s another to do it when you didn’t know you’d be doing it five minutes before competition began. Hats off to Kylee, the interim Sergeant-at-Arms, whose bonus is that she’s also the In-House Counsel.

LANGUAGE LESSON: In Germany, “gymnasium” is pronounced “gimNASium.” Thanks, Sue.

BEST SPELLING OF SHEDEUR SANDERS: DeShawn.

RECORD-TYING: Never let it be said that the members of Norm (and the Caregivers) don’t know about state capitals. Okay, let it be said. Actually, they said it themselves, actually, right after entering their names in the record books under “lowest score in a single round.”

FLOP SWEAT MOMENT: Two teams had Honolulu as the answer to “Name the only U.S. capital not reachable by interstate highway, forcing the Trivia Master to do some quick googling on his phone. Apparently Hawaii’s H1, H2 and H3 are interstate highways, though I can’t imagine how.

WE HOPE THEY COME BACK AWARD: To America’s Sweethearts, Jill and Sam; you may not have won the game, but you won our hearts. Also, your mid-game name change was brilliant.

OUT OF NOWHERE: We Drink and We Know Things, confidence restored and enthusiasm growing with each round, scored a perfect 10 on AFI’s Top 100 Movie Quotes.

YOUR COMMUTE IS NOW PART OF MY PROCESS: Part of the Trivia Master’s process is the pre-game walk down the hill to get his head right. Lately part of that walk is passing the Magnetos, loaded up into their giant Toyota Tundra and cruising into town. They always slow down and say hi.

03/05/2025

Who’s ready for some trivia? I know I am… just as soon as I finish up reading about Oregon City. Did you know it was the first capital of Oregon?

02/25/2025

WINNIES CRUISE TO SECOND WIN IN A ROW

Anchor Valley Trivia emerged from its own personal snowbank last Wednesday, coming back at 60% capacity after an unplanned storm day scrapped competition on February 6. Among the missing: the Norms and the Death Star, leaving in their absence six very motivated teams: The RaySpots, Trio Magneto, the OG Menage a Trois, second-timers Best Guess, super team Fly Eagles Fly and the defending champs the Winnies, now calling themselves Westwinster Abbey.

The evening began on a confusing note, as the Trivia Master, voluntarily pressed into service as DJ, messed up the Winnies’ walk-up music, subbing out a Taylor Swift song for their preferred Guns ’n’ Roses track. The confusion was short-lived, fortunately, Winnie carried the championship belt straight to the Champion’s Lounge and the teams quickly settled into competition.

Round one was a particularly difficult Current Events, with teams struggling to identify the locale of the inaugural Esports Olympics (Riyadh, Saudi Arabia) and exactly which 90s boy band has a residency at The Sphere this summer (The Backstreet Boys). The RaySpots, as usual, emerged with the early lead.

From that point forward, however, it was all Winnies, all day; as the team’s name changed to Winniechester ’73, Anchor Winnie, Winnie’s Circle, Walking in a Winnie Wonderland and finally, to Win & Tonic, the team consistently won rounds, taking the lead in the Ice, Ice Baby round and holding it to the end, hitting the finish line with a comfortable four-point win.

Don’t let this lull you into thinking the evening was a cakewalk, though; behind the Winnies were four teams that finished a single point apart — Menage a Trois and the RaySpots, who’ve come a long way since the days of the predictable collapse, tied for second, with the surging Best Guess and Fly Eagles Fly, basically Pantone 294 plus Nice Guy Mike, Steve and Roe, one point back. Trio Magneto, who know a lot about Australia but apparently not much about California, brought up the rear.

Regardless of their finish, all teams exited the premises confident in the knowledge that diamonds are commonly referred to as “ice” and the Beverly Hillbillies cast member whose father was the heavyweight champion of the world in 1934 was Jethro.

Here are this week’s awards:

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA UPDATE: Seager had the floor to himself this week and capitalized on the opportunity. Most notably, he at one point smiled at the Trivia Master from behind his Nuk while simultaneously holding a teething ring in one hand. That’s a 6.7 on the difficulty scale. An impressive feat, indeed.

WORST QUESTION OF THE NIGHT: The Esports question was received angrily by all; not just Beth.

RIGHT UP MY ALLEY AWARD: This goes to Ron of Fly Eagles Fly nee Pantone 294, who knows that a traditional Sazerac doesn’t have ice like he knows his own family. Ron has offered the Trivia Master a Sazerac more than once at his house.

BEST SARCASTIC CHEER: Trenton “International Man of Mystery” Hoyal. Hands down. Repeatedly.

BEST PERFORMANCE ART: The Trivia Master always appreciates Menage a (Fill in the Blank) head honcho Sheri, but the subtlety of her gradually waning multiple choice question “Yes!” added a sense of the avant garde to the proceedings. What began the night as a tight, controlled “Yes!” diminished gradually until it was by evening’s end a barely perceptible nod. It’s all about the journey, folks.

NICE GUY MIKE, THE SCIENCE GUY: Kudos to Mike, AKA MC Squareback, of Fly Eagles Fly for being the only person in the room who knows that the freezing point of water measured in Kelvin is 273 degrees.

BROKE THE CURSE: Speaking of Fly Eagles Fly, six weeks after vacating the site due to a “curse,” the former Pantone 294 returned to the couch in the back and finished a respectable five points off the lead. Ryan, and Tanner of the Norms, if you’re reading this: it’s safe to come back.

BEST ANGRY RESPONSE: Best Guess, you’ve only come twice so I don’t know your names yet, but one of your team members at one point burst out of his seat to argue a call, which I thought was fantastic. Or maybe he was getting a drink and happened to be standing up. I’m going to keep thinking he burst out of his seat. It’s better that way. And also…

LOW SELF-ESTEEM AWARD: To Best Guess, who proved this week that they do drink and know things and were not, in fact, guessing.

PATRICK EWING AWARD: This goes to Jim of the Ray Spots, who, like Patrick Ewing, exited with his team struggling (in this case, Jim left after the second round with the RaySpots in fourth place) only to have the team thrive in his absence (the RaySpots finished tied for second and DID NOT FADE at the end). Jim, I hope your teammates lied to you when you asked about it later.

That’s all for this week; see you all on March 5.

02/19/2025

Don't let a little rain stop you from coming to trivia tonight (or to tomorrow's event) and remember, it could be worse: we could be in California. Some people love it, but not me.

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02/10/2025

Shout-out to trivia mainstay Nice Guy Mike, who teamed with his wife (and one-time trivia attendee) Lori and their son John to win this week's Current Events pop quiz. Team MC scored an 8 out of 10 and were one of the only entries to know that Pat Riley trademarked the term "three-peat" in 1988!

See you all next Wednesday, the 19th, for more trivia!

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02/05/2025

Sadly, tonight's trivia clue is that there's no trivia tonight, due to buckets of snow that are preventing anyone who doesn't live in Jacksonville from making it to Anchor Valley.

Just to keep the juices flowing, I have included the questions from this evening's proposed Current Events category in a just-sent group email. If you are not on the email and would like to be, please message me.

See you all February 19!

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01/27/2025

WINNIFEST DESTINY ACHIEVED

In the long, storied history of Anchor Valley Trivia, no team has responded to their own victory quite how E=MC Hammer did last Wednesday. Faced with a choice of either showing up and defending the championship belt or skipping the session and vacating their title, E=MC Hammer (AKA “The Death Star”) chose neither. Instead, they sent team member Jay as a sole representative of the Hammer Initiative, unfortunately without letting him in on the plan. Jay was game, renamed his team “Solo” and then make a quick call to his wife, who arrived during Round 2. The makeshift squad finished the evening in eighth place and the championship belt moved on.

The winners this week were Winnie’s Winners, AKA Winslow Shot, Super Villain, AKA Winnie Testeverde, AKA Winnefest Destiny, who lurked just off the lead almost the entire night and didn’t lock up their win until the Bonus Round. They ended the evening with 47 points, two up on Moist January and four ahead of the RaySpots, whose encouraging evening also ended with a strong Bonus performance, undoing their usual late-round swoon and providing some optimism for the team’s chances as we move further into 2025.

Behind them, in fourth place, were Guys and Dolls, this week’s version of Menage a (Where is Molly?). Still a little shaky despite the return of team MVP Molly the Trivia Maven, GAD finished five points off the lead, one point behind the RaySpots and five ahead of this week’s rookie standouts We Drink and We Know Things. Despite a growing team morale issue that led to a gradual breakdown of their team name throughout the evening (by Round Five their answer sheet was titled, simply, “We Drink.”), WEAWKT stood in the middle of the pack all evening, showing impressive knowledge about Australia and countries/cities that have changed their names.

Behind them was Trio Magneto; the team from Woodbury Lane, now brimming with clues and a secret — one team member has lived in Australia — shined early but tailed off late, following the example of the neighboring RaySpots to a sixth-place finish, three ahead of Pantone 294 and well in front of Solo/At Least She Loves Me and the shocker of the night, a last-place finish from former two-time champs Norm (and the Caregivers). More on them below.

Here are your awards for January 22:

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA UPDATE: Seager was sidelined tonight, opening up a pathway for Hadley, who capitalized on the opportunity by smiling at the Sergeant-at-Arms at least three times, cooing and sporting a couture onesie perhaps more at home on the runways of Milan than in our humble town.

GOOD SPORT AWARD: Gotta give this to Jay of E=MC Hammer, who thought he was rolling into his usual spot on his usual dominant team, only to find himself a man alone, which was not received in low-key fashion by the rest of the room or by the Trivia Master. Give it up for Jay.

VERY SUPERSTITIOUS, PART 1: Pantone vacated their usual couch in the back of the room, seemingly to allow the more expansive Norms the extra space. However, late in the evening, as the Norms flailed in a way we haven’t seen for months, Norms team member Tanner revealed the true reason for the move: “They said this spot is bad luck,” he muttered, “and I think they’re right.”

VERY SUPERSTITIOUS, PART 2: Also the quote of the evening, from victorious Winnie team Captain Erick, who played — and won — sans his usual crew of wife, infant son and dog: “I guess they won't be coming anymore.”

RAYSPOTS IMPERSONATION AWARD: Buoyed by new members Andrea and Pat, Moist January went into the final round tied for first place but ran into a buzzsaw of questions about fast cars, fast runners and everything else fast and watched as the fast Winnies flew past them for the win.

QUICK STUDIES AWARD: They Drink and they Know — some — Things; one of the things they know now is to enthusiastically cheer for themselves when their score is announced. That only took one round so congratulations, We Drink and We Know Things: you are this week’s Top Rookie Team!

WHAT ARE FULLY ARMED AND OPERATIONAL RAYSPOTS CAPABLE OF? We saw a hint of it this week as the Spots, mini white boards at the ready, led after Current Events, ran second after two rounds, then went into their familiar tailspin — only to right the ship during the bonus round and finish third.

SUFFERING IN SILENCE AWARD: The Trivia Master sees all and what he saw this week was an increasingly unhappy Pantone 294 member Ryan, who, despite shrewdly vacating the bad luck couch at the back of the room wore a vacant expression and sank lower and lower into his seat every time the scores were announced.

SECRET QUIPSTER AWARD: What you don’t know is that usually once an evening, Menage a/Guys and Dolls mainstay Seth manages to toss out a little quip to me while on his way to the bathroom. This evening’s was, as usual, thought-provoking and logical and based on the question about which is worth more U.S. Dollars, the Australian Dollar or the Canadian Dollar. “Do you mean here, in this room?” He murmured as he passed. “They’re both worth nothing.”

That’s all for this week; see you on February 5, when we return to our usual first-and-third Wednesdays schedule.

01/22/2025

I don't know about you, but I always preferred the later acoustic version to the one from the 80s.

See you tonight! Fair dinkum!

A tribute to all my Australian and Pakistani friends. Here's to our good old days at Christ the King, St Lawrence's, Fatima, St Anthony's, St Patrick's, St ...

01/13/2025

DEATH STAR RETURNS, PUTS THE HAMMER DOWN

78% of the teams who assembled to play Anchor Valley Trivia last week remember Flip Wilson, but only two knew that Martin Scorsese directed The Color of Money, Boxcar Bertha, The King of Comedy and After Hours. One of those was E=MC Hammer, the erstwhile Death Star, back in action after a weeks-long layoff to squeak out a tight win and welcome team member Rick back from Injured Reserve. The Hammer scored a perfect 10 in King of Comedy, giving them just enough juice to edge past the Clueless Magnetos, who finished two points back in a not at all clueless and in fact perfectly respectable second-place finish.

Per team members Brad and Tim, the Hammer was plagued by in-fighting and arguing on this night, but as we all know, this team thrives on adversity. In-fighting and arguing is the fuel they live on. This is the Death Star, after all.

Early on, though, it seemed the returning Hammer might come up short. As the RaySpots jumped out to their customary early lead, E=MC Hammer languished in the middle of the pack. At the evening’s halfway point, the Hammer was still fourth, trailing the Magnetos, the RaySpots and two-time defending champs Norm (and the Caregivers). It wasn’t until the topic turned to comedy that the Hammer made its move, surging past the RaySpots and tying the Magnetos. After that, the men from Medford cruised through the final category (as the Magnetos stumbled) and scored just enough in the bonus category to walk away with the win.

The second-place Clueless Magnetos have nothing to apologize for, having carried themselves from the depths of the cellar to contend for victory before ceding their spot at the end. Perhaps the next thing they should cede is the word “clueless” from their name.

Behind them came a three-way tie for third, four points off the lead, between the Winnies, the Ray Spots and NYSBA, thanks to an impressive comeback from the Winnies (they tied an Anchor Valley record for futility by scoring a single point in the opening category, The Color of Money) and the inevitable collapse of the RaySpots, who waved the white flag during the bonus round when they realized Sinbad had never hosted Comedy Relief on HBO. Props to NYSBA for choosing a name whose abbreviation resembles both N’SYNC and the abbreviation for New Kids on the Block, and for bolstering their squad with the addition of Nice Guy Mike’s wife Lori to make up for the absence of Steve and Roe.

Two-time defending champions Norm (and the Caregivers) came next in sixth, followed by a multi-generational Pantone 294, newcomers the Rogue Rascals and a somewhat shocked and threadbare Menage a (not original but trois), who nonetheless continued to cheer for themselves after each round, setting an example much appreciated by the Trivia Master, who spent the evening trying to fill the enthusiasm gap created by the absence of Steve and Roe and last week’s rookies MI2.

Here are your awards for the week:

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA UPDATE: Both babies enjoyed a stellar evening of crowd work and interaction. It’s asking a lot of Seager to expect him to outshine Hadley’s second-consecutive baby pump victory walk entrance, though he demonstrate his burgeoning manual dexterity when he grabbed his pacifier off the ground as his mom held him upside down.

WORST CATEGORY OF THE EVENING: The Color of Money. Apparently I’m the only one fascinated by the stone money used by residents of the Island of Yap.

BUT IT COULD’VE BEEN THE BEST CATEGORY OF THE EVENING: If late-arriving Hammer Jay had gotten there on time. Afterwards, he approached the Trivia Master and asked to look at the Color of Money questions, scanned them and muttered, “Yeah, we would’ve gotten at least eight of these if I was here.”

MVP BY HER ABSENCE: Former champs and perennial contenders Menage a (fill in the bank) tried to soldier on without team member Molly, only to finish in ninth place. “No pop culture questions, too,” explained team member Brian.

TEAM MOST IN NEED OF A THERAPIST: You know what, Magnetos? You’re not “clueless” if you’re grinding out an impressive second-place finish. Remember, Magnetos, you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.

TEAM #2 MOST IN NEED OF A THERAPIST: Some day the RaySpots are going to hold a lead. That day was not last Wednesday.

AT RISK OF LOSING THEIR BABY-BOOMER CARD: Nice Guy Mike and his wife Lori have a peace sign flag flying outside their house but per teammate Rick, didn’t immediately know that Sly and the Family Stone, the Who and Jimi Hendrix played at Woodstock. “To be fair, my first thought was that it was the Us Festival,” admitted a sheepish Rick.

ROOKIES OF THE WEEK: It took one round for the Rogue Rascals to figure out the room; at first sheepish and quiet, they erupted in cheers for themselves each round afterward. Bravo, Rogue Rascals. You are invited back any time you want.

BEST PRESENTATION OF NACHOS: Pantone 294 struggled a bit throughout despite committing to a youth movement and replacing the absent Ron with Ryan's son Kaleb. They eventually finished seventh in a nine-team field, but the nachos they ordered from La Fiesta looked delicious to a certain salty snack-deprived-due-to-a-poor-and-perhaps-coerced-New Years-resolution-plagued Trivia Master.

That’s it for this week. Remember, the next trivia session is WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 22. Hope to see you all there!

12/23/2024

NORMS PUT IT ALL TOGETHER FOR SECOND CONSECUTIVE WIN

It took a team effort and a quick demo on ugly Christmas sweaters with beer storage features, but the team formerly known as Norm (and the Caregivers) walked away from the pre-Christmas edition of Anchor Valley Trivia with its second win in a row Wednesday, edging the Winnies and Menage a (Cheerful Christmas Message) by two points. It was perhaps a testament to the power of Christmas spirit that this was not a controversial victory, as the margin was due to the Norms’ ad hoc Ugly Christmas Sweater Competition win, which added three points to their total and let them walk with the belt. Ironically until a few minutes before competition tip-off your Trivia Master assumed we would have no Norms at all.

Almost immediately following their upset win on December 4, team spiritual leader Norm announced that the team would not be on hand to defend its crown. “The belt is up for grabs,” shouted the Trivia Master, and yet as competitors flowed in Wednesday (50 in all, a new AV Trivia record), there were the Norms. Props to Those Aren’t Eggnogs team captain Steve for ceding the Winner’s Lounge to the returning champs.

As noted, 50 players broke the previous standard of 48 and pre-holiday spirits were high. Fortunately, Wednesday also marked the return of the Sergeant-at-Arms, whose presence guaranteed that standards and decorum would be followed, though she did allow superteam the RaySpotsNetos to balloon to eight members, because, per always-controversial team member Beth, “Two of them aren’t doing anything anyway”

Competition began under a bit of a pall when stalwart bartender/server/cook/rally leader August announced their pending departure from the AV team to become a full-time freelance writer. Perhaps this explains the teams’ average score of 4.3 in the Current Events round, including a record-tying single point by semi-rookies and Tom Cruise enthusiasts Mission Impossible II.

Moving into Round Two (Christmas Songs), the leaders, with seven points, were Merry, Merry, Happy, Happy Holidays (AKA Menage a Fill in the Blank) and, as usual, the fast-starting RaySpotNetos. This remained the case after the round, which featured a very difficult question about “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” and a very creative answer to “Who Wrote ‘Feliz Navidad,’” by the always-creative Pantone 294.

Three rounds and a bonus, plus a Christmas sweater competition later, the Norms were on top, followed by the surging Winnies, who leapfrogged form fourth to second with a perfect ten in the Holy Christmas Special Triad category, and Menage, who are always at or near the top. Pantone and the Eggnogs followed with 42 and a fourth-place tie, with second-timers Scrooge This (formerly Texas Exes and rumored to still be comprised entirely of Texan emigres) and the RaySpotNetos, who proved that even an infusion of Hoyals couldn’t cure them of their late game fades. Death by Double Date Night finished eighth with 36 points but as usual, their value far outstripped their final score.

Finishing in the basement was MI2, back after a long absence but no less enthusiastic or committed to excellence. Notably, no member of this team shouted out any answers during competition, though one did threaten to divorce her husband at the close of the night.

Here are your weekly awards for December 4:

UGLY SWEATER WINNER: This title and three points went to the Norms, though competition was uncannily fierce. It is true that there is little that can top a sweater with a built-in cupholder for your beer.

COMMITMENT TO UGLY EXCELLENCE AWARD: Winnie team captain Erik arrived in his usual gear, unaware of the (admittedly last-minute) ugly sweater competition. One phone call later he was standing on a table wearing a Christmas onesie. That it didn’t net his team three points is a mystery on par with the origins of Stonehenge.

BEST DECISION OF THE NIGHT: When I offloaded the position of Ugly Sweater Contest judge to Peggy, August and Ellie.

MOST STYLISH HOLIDAY WEAR: Christmas sweaters come and go, but Death by Double Date Night John’s holiday lights sport coat lasts forever.

MY EYES ARE PLEADING FOR HELP AWARD: What you probably don’t know is that every week there’s at least one person in the room who stares me down after every question; often it is a teenager and the message is “Oh my God these questions are so dumb.” This week is was Amy of Texas Exes/Scrooge This and the message was “I don’t know any of the answers; can you please give me a clue?”

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA COMPETITION: Seager had a difficult night on Wednesday; mostly hidden from view and perhaps feeling that his father got robbed in the Ugly Sweater Competition, Seager made his feelings known a few times. Also, Hadley got to wear the belt for a second consecutive week. At this point, it’s a toss-up.

CONSISTENT, BUT NOT IN THE WAY YOU WANT AWARD: To the RaySpotNetos; they came with a full squad plus two, they played hard, they jumped out to an early lead, they faded at the end. You could set your watch to it.

CONSISTENT BUT IN THE WAY YOU WANT AWARD: Can anyone remember the last time Menage a (Christmas when its Christmas) wasn’t among the top three finishers?

SIR, I MUST PROTEST: Noted, Eggnogger Rick, that some people consider The Grinch and Charlie Brown to be among the Holy Triad of Christmas Specials. I do not. If it’s not stop-motion, it’s not in the Holy Triad.

MULTI-GENERATIONAL AWARD: Three teams boasted multiple generations of the same family this week, including MERRY, MERRY, ETC. ETC., with two generations of Sutliffes, EGGNOGS with John, son of Nice Guy Mike, and PANTONE, with Jessica’s mom Tamara, who is a dead ringer for Emmylou Harris.

SAVVINESS AWARD: To Death by Double Date Night team member Jean, who knew to ask me how to spell JULBORD (pronounced YULE-bood) and and JULSKINKA (pronounced YULE-hwinka.

GRACE UNDER FIRE, BUT AT WHAT COST? It wasn’t just Steve showing good sportsmanship, giving up the Winners Lounge for surprise arrivals Norm; the entire team from South Loop cheerfully gave up their spot. Their reward was a marginalized spot around the corner, where the Trivia Master could not see or hear them, and the Trivia Master needs to see and hear Steve and Roe.

ROOKIE OF THE WEEK: Months after their now-legendary Tom Cruise gaffe, MI2 finally returned. They finished in the cellar, but that’s to be expected of a newbie team. What was impressive was afterward, when, after threatening to leave her husband, team member (I’m sorry I don’t know your name but it was your first time here in a long time) approached the Trivia Master and asked to have her team’s score sheets, so she could “prepare for next time.” I hope that next time comes soon, MI2.

That’s all for this week; please note that our next trivia session is JANUARY 8, the second Wednesday of the month. That’s right; we bumped yoga for trivia. Bask in it.

12/18/2024

Ready for the final trivia competition of 2024? Have you given much thought to the Holy Trinity of TV Christmas specials? Maybe you should.

Also: extra points if your Christmas sweater is more stomach-turning than the Sergeant-at-Arms' sweater.

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12/10/2024

NORMS MAKE A STATEMENT, TAKE THEIR FIRST TITLE!

(THEIR STATEMENT: “WE WON’T BE HERE TO DEFEND OUR CROWN.”)

Sated and relaxed after Thanksgiving, the teams of the Greater Anchor Valley Trivia League convened last Wednesday to see if anyone would have the grit to unseat two- (three?) time belt winners Menage (Whatever I Say They Are), if the Trivia Master had recovered from his need to flog the players with a series of unanswerable questions and, finally, how the evening would proceed in the absence of the Sergeant-at-Arms, who’d been called to the Mother Ship in Switzerland, perhaps for the final time in her storied career. Two hours later, each question had been answered as follows:

1) Yes
2) Yes, thankfully
3) Somewhat chaotically, with the chaos continuing up to and through this recap, since I lost the scoresheet and don’t know who finished where, other than first. Our plea is simple and heartfelt: please return our full-time Sergeant-at-Arms in time for the next competition (December 16).

Not that we are complaining about the performance of fill-in Sergeant-at-Arms Joe, who brought his usual cheerful and entreprenuerial vibe to the proceedings, at one point interrupting a category to take an impromptu survey of local pizza offerings and tossed out not one but two wine specials that at this time we’re not sure how many people took advantage of.

Still, the crowd sensed from the jump that the absence of the Sergeant-at-Arms, who prefers to refer to herself as “The Producer” would mean a looser format and more space for antics and hijinks, which it took advantage of early and often, which is to say a riotous good time was had by all, even Menage, whose team name, after cratering in Round 2, evolved from Menage a (.com) to (High-pitched whistle to explosion), to (Last place) to (Having a good time) in ensuing rounds.

Why the bout of low esteem for Menage, on a night whose four food-themed categories were received with almost unanimous acclaim? They opened with a six in Current Events, good for a fifth-place tie ahead of only rookies Bachelors in Paradise and two points behind leaders the RaySpots and The Winnies (presently known as Winona Judd), each of whom came out of the gates with an eight.

But on this night it wasn’t wise to sleep on Norm (and the Caregivers), emerged from Round 1 in fourth place but launched themselves into first by mastering the Cola Wars round (9 points) and never relinquished their lead, despite a late charge the Hot Toddys, who finished second with 47, three points off the lead. Following these two teams with 44 were Pantone 294, whose comprehensive knowledge of Latin American and European food origins pushed them into contention mid-play until they stumbled in the final Ear Candy category, and the Winnies (Winona Judd, Wi******er Bay, etc.) who suffered no lapses nor reached any heights, good enough for 44 points .

In fifth place and showing a disturbing trend for late game fades was the RaySpots (42 points), followed by Menage a (We’d Rather Not Talk About This) with 41. Bringing up the rear were rookies Bachelors in Paradise, including team member Tom, who understood immediately on this night what matters most: jumping up and shouting then your team name is announced. Good work, Tom.

Afterward, as the Norms celebrated with baby pumps and high fives, a twist: almost immediately upon completing their celebration, Norm himself announced that the team will not be attending the December 16 trivia competition. The belt has been vacated almost as quickly as it was claimed.

Here are your awards for December 4:

MOST INFLUENTIAL TEAM: The Winnies, who not only continue to improbably think up five new names each week but have now inspired other teams to do the same; witness the Menage a (Anything is Possible) evolution and the plight of the Bachelors in Paradise, whose evening took them from Paradise to Near Paradise to Reaching For Paradise before descending into Hell and finally emerging back in Paradise.

EAR CANDY AWARD: The Hot Toddys scored a perfect 10 in the Ear Candy category, demonstrating a broad knowledge of food-related music and musicians ranging from Meatloaf and Richard Harris all the way to the Presidents of the United States of America, Prince and Jack Johnson.

REACHING THE BOTTOM: Menage a (Not Themselves Tonight) were tricked into thinking my niece set the record for most slices of pizza (83) consumed in a ten-minute period.

YOU'RE WELCOME: Speaking of pizza, you should all be relieved that the category did not ask you to identify New Haven-style pizza (aPizza), St. Louis-style pizza (cracker crust, provolone cheese), Quad Cities pizza (malt in the crust, cayenne pepper topping) or pizza strips. Quad Cities pizza.

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA UPDATE: Competition continued to rage this week. Seager came out of the gates strong and had a significant presence all evening but it’s difficult to score points when your rival is being hoisted into the air wearing a gigantic championship belt.

2024 SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS AWARD: To the RaySpots, who, despite the return of their white boards, came come out of the gate early, flirted with the leaders, then lost momentum late and finished fifth. All gas, no brakes, RaySpots.

ROOKIE OF THE WEEK: Tom of Bachelors in Paradise, who later confided to me, “I don’t know anything.” That may be, Tom, but you know how to bring some energy to the room.

BEST CATEGORY OF THE EVENING: According to the always-delightful Rebecca of Pantone 294, it was the Mexican Food or Not category which, if we’re being honest here, I would’ve scored a five on.

HARD TO ROOT FOR THIS: There is a rumor that Rick and Steve of the Hot Toddys have conspired to refuse a celebratory walk-up, should their team ever claim the belt.

That’s all for this week; hope to see you all (or at least everyone who raised their hands when I asked them if they’d be there) on the 16th.