Anchor Valley Trivia

06/25/2025

THEY DRINK… AND THEY DEFINITELY KNOW THINGS

Enthusiam ran high at last Wednesday’s AV Trivia Night despite the absence of several high-profile teams. Why were they absent? Various reasons. The Magnetos were recovering from a housewide carpet cleaning (that’s the story I was told). The Norms, who’d once again phoned ahead and reserved the (allegedly) Cursed Couch, had to drop out at the last moment when several Applegate-based team members were evacuated, thanks to the threatening but ultimately, thankfully toothless Applegate fire. Rebecca had family obligations, which wiped out her team and robbed us of The Great Enigma of Anchor Valley Trivia, Ron. The RaySpots were otherwise mysteriously occupied and E=MC Hammer is a memory, a rumor, a ghost that haunts us when we sleep.

This left us with five teams — the new, joyous Menage a (fill in the blank; tonight it was 2(squared)), Winnie’s Winners, 4 DeRoses and 2 Thorns (their name changes every week), a new squad called The Couch Potatoes and, returning after a short absence, We Drink and We Know Things. The Trivia Master was a bit saddened by the light turnout but AV Chief Staffer Kayleigh was not. “Now I can leave early and pick up my kids.”

The evening began with an unusually difficult Current Events category. No team scored above seven and after one round, the standings read: 4 DeRoses, Winnies, We Drink, Menage and newbie Couch Potato. Moving into round two, this time responding the questions about Delicious and Fast Food, again no team scored more than seven (even We Drink, whose performance included the first scoff of the evening, at the idea that someone on this earth doesn’t know where you would go to find a Cheesy Gordita Crunch). Coming into round three We Drink held a slim lead over the DeRoses and Menage, with Winnie’s a single point back and waiting for their usual late-game surge. The Couch Potatoes, alas, were by now firmly entrenched in the cellar. The curse of the couch, it turned out, was too strong to overcome.

Into round three we went with the Trivia Master heartbroken that he had devised a category solely to please Lori Hoyal, only to find that she was a prisoner of carpet cleaning on this night. As he reeled off question after question about tennis, the Trivia Master imagined Lori stuck in the corner of her living room, wet carpeting stretching out into infinity all around her.

Nevertheless, again no one scored above a seven, as all were flummoxed by questions about Ilie Nastase and the timeless Adidas Stan Smith model. Perhaps the Trivia Master could include some questions about events that have occurred in the 21st century?

Round three standings: We Drink (20), Winnies (18), DeRoses (18), Menage (a joyful 17), Couch Potatoes (12, but with reinforcements arriving).

Next came the Master’s favorite category, curated for the enjoyment of all: Trustafarians, Silver Spoons and Nepo Babies. This category, which explored the world of privileged children, brought new vigor to every team — even the Couch Potatoes, who scored a respectable eight. But it was the DeRose squad who showed a mastery of this category, correctly naming Jim Morrison as the doomed 60s rock star with an admiral for a father and somehow knowing that Naomi Foner’s kids are Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal. Their perfect 10 tied them with We Drink, a position they held through the final regular category, National Parks.

Into the bonus round we went with the DeRoses and We Drink knotted atop the standings, followed closely by the Winnies and Menages, with the Potatoes closing the gap (if you take away Current Events, yes, the Couch Potatoes are still fifth, but only five points away from third place).

Can you name all five members of the Jackson Five? Do you know the difference between a National Park and a National Monument? Who sung “He Stopped Loving Her Today?” Mastery of these three areas was the difference between carrying the belt into the next iteration of AV Trivia and watching jealously from your seat at the also-rans table. In the end We Drink and We Know Things knew just enough about the Jacksons, Oregon monuments and George Jones to walk off with a one-point victory. The DeRoses thought George Strait sung “He Stopped Loving Her Today,” which cost them the victory and earned them a long tutorial about George Jones the next time they come over to my house.

Winnie’s Winners, who correctly named all five original members of the Jackson Five, finished third, one point ahead of Menage a (2 squared) with the rookie squad The Couch Potatoes finishing with a respectable 30 points and the same looming punishment as the DeRoses, since they thought Dolly Parton sung “He Stopped Loving Her Today.”

Here are your awards for June 18:

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA STATUS UPDATE: Seager had a fantastic — and very verbal — night in the fire-driven absence of Hadley, sporting two different pairs of shoes and setting a new AV Trivia Record for most steps logged during a competition (3,173) but alas, his performance has been disqualified as Hadley’s absence has been deemed an Act of God by the Sergeant-at-Arms.

BEST JACKSON FIVE MEMBER NAME GUESS: Latrell.

IMPRESSIVE PULL OF THE NIGHT: On their way to victory We Drink and We Know Things was the only team to correctly name Great Britain/England as the flag that flies over San Juan National Park in Washington State.

FLEX OF THE EVENING: Erick of Winnie’s Winners could not attend Wednesday’s event (though his son Brad did make his triumphant return) because he was busy flying his own airplane somewhere over Alaska. We know this because he FaceTimed his team from his plane.

ONE WAY TO NAVIGATE A TENNIS CATEGORY: New to the game but perhaps actually light years ahead of everyone, The Couch Potatoes had “Serena Williams” as the answer to half the questions in this category. More than half, if you count that their answer to question #10 was “Matthew Perry (AKA Serena Williams)”

BEST GUESS OF THE EVENING: Poor State Rep. Mark Owens (R) of Crane, Oregon. 25 people in a room and the only team that knew about his crusade to have T-Bone named the official steak cut of Oregon, the Menages, “guessed.”

WORST DISRESPECT TO THE TENNIS SHOES I SAVED FOREVER TO BUY WHEN I WAS 12: Menage a (2x) thinks the Adidas Stan Smith is called “Adidas Crosstrek,” like you’re wearing a Subaru on your feet.

NOBODY IS LISTENING AWARD: Last time, during the Everything’s Archie category, we asked to name the smallest National Park in the U.S. Nobody got it right. This week, the VERY SAME QUESTION reappeared, this time in the National Parks category aaannnd… two out of five teams got it correct. Some wrong answers: Cave of Refuge (Hawaii), Mammoth Caves, Lassen. For the record, Lassen National Park is 106,000 acres in size.

THE “HAVE A LITTLE PRIDE, HAMILTON” AWARD: Zero teams could identify The Cocomo (espresso, coconut and chocolate milk) as a Dutch Brothers menu item. Three said it came from Dunkin’ Donuts; the other two said Starbucks. And here I thought I was in Oregon.

WORST POP CULTURE REFERENCE OF THE EVENING: The Trivia Master was indeed reaching when he suggested that the clue for Jon Voigt be “former owner of George Costanza’s LeBaron,” and was unsurprised when all five teams responded with silence.

YOU ARE INVITED TO MY HOUSE TO LISTEN TO THE GREATEST COUNTRY SINGER OF ALL TIME, GEORGE JONES: 4 DeRoses and 2 Thorns, the Couch Potatoes.

That’s it for this week. See you all on July 2.

06/18/2025

That's right: it's Trivia Wednesday! Time to study up on Current Events, perhaps while enjoying a Chalupa, an Animal-Style burger or another of your favorite fast food menu items.

Send a message to learn more

06/11/2025

WINNIES RETURN TO WINNERS CIRCLE

It took no time for the Anchor Valley Trivia group to re-find its mojo last Wednesday, despite a layoff of almost a month — and the absence of last time’s winners, Celebrating Mediocrity. The Mediocres were a no-show, stranding the championship belt at a table reserved for them and depriving us of the answer to the burning question of their choice of walk-up music. We are all hoping they return on the 18th to share with us the answer to that query and that they spent Wednesday ruing the loss of the opportunity to parade in front of their peers, belt held high overhead or draped over one shoulder.

The opportunity is lost, because on the 18th it will be Winnie’s Winners who hoist the belt, thanks to a wire-to-wire performance Wednesday that, interestingly, resultedin a one-point squeaker of a win. The triumph came at a cost for everyone’s favorite almosts, the RaySpots, who avoided collapse but still came up a single point short of victory. This fact dimmed their enthusiasm not one bit, as they were too busy celebrating the twin events of Robert’s birthday and Spot’s newly-shaven face.

Despite these obviously buoying events, the ‘Spots couldn’t overcome the Winnies, who avoided their slow start and then, as usual, made a strong push in the second half of the night to seal their win.

In third place, three points behind the winners, were the (temporarily) re-named Norms, now playing as “Tanner’s Caregivers.” The Tanners were running in a dead heat with the Winnies for half the night before stumbling in the “Everything’s Archie” category, giving the RaySpots and the Winnie’s all the daylight they’d need.

Some of the Tanners were happy just to be here. The entire room was overjoyed to see Tanner, still recovering from a wicked dirt bike accident, hobble into the room at the start of play. “This is the first time I’ve been out of a wheelchair,” he murmured, taking his spot on the couch. Not present to see this, sadly, was Norm, who has been in seclusion since Kroger announced the closure of the bar at the South Medford Fred Meyer.

Tied for third was Four for All, the team of Rebecca, Chris, Ron and Rebecca’s friend whose name I forgot but props to her for not making me explain the instructions on how to play. Saved us five minutes. Last time, you may remember, this team barely held on to the end, but this week they turned it around and even knew the name of America’s second “Steel City,” Birmingham, Alabama, thanks to Ron.

In fifth place and sporting a refreshed new attitude was Menage a (here for a good time). The score seemed to matter not at all to the Menages, a fact indicated early on by Brice’s festive not-quite-an-Aloha shirt and kept up throughout the night. Bravo, Menages.

One point behind them, in sixth, were Mission Possible, whose hot streak paused, at least for one night, but whose embarrassment for not knowing the Music City was Nashville, not Memphis, was dimmed a bit by the rare presence of Outstanding Teen, Kelsey, who sat in for Pat and by Roe, who managed to bring her trademark enthusiasm to the game despite being laid low by respiratory woes similar to those of the Trivia Master (again).

And finally, the Magnetos, at times the Orcas, at times the Orca-Magnetos and at times simply the Magnetos, came in seventh with 39 points and importantly marked the beginning of summer because Jeff wore his straw hat. That’s when summer starts. When Jeff wears his straw hat.

Here are your awards for June 4:

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA UPDATE: Seager thought the runway was clear and made the most of it early, again bringing all of his baby accoutrements including a high-tech Night-night retainment system that allowed him to casually dangle his NUK around his neck while chasing down Fritz (more on that later). However, Hadley delivered on the promise her empty stroller made earlier in the evening, arriving halfway through the proceedings and sporting a static mohawk.

OFFICIAL DOG OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA UPDATE: Shock waves went through the Official Dog world on Wednesday as Winnie faced her first challenger in over a year. Yes, it was Mission Possible canine member Fritz, elderly dachshund who generally likes me better than he likes Jody, making his first AV Trivia appearance and ironically drawing all the attention of Baby Seager while Winnie slept on, unconcerned. “It’s a good thing we won the game,” said Winnie’s team captain (and Seager dad) Erick after the competition. “We were having a rough night otherwise.”

CHAOS DEPARTMENT: I had no idea how many trivia players prefer beer over wine until the crowd learned there would be no beer taps available tonight, only a limited number of cans. The announcement shook the otherwise unflappable Kayleigh, who generally runs things on trivia nights and it was sad to look out at see Jeff, Norm, sometimes Erick, once in a blue moon Lori and others denied their chalices.

BEST BAD QUESTION OF THE NIGHT: Zygomatic arch. Only the Tanners got this one right, which dimmed my enthusiasm for the question not one bit. Sorry.

BEST RECENT HEALTH IMPROVEMENT: Tanner, by a wide margin, though the Sergeant-at-Arms’ cast-free right wrist made its own case for this award.

BEST AUDIENCE-SUGGESTED CATEGORY: Rebecca’s Favorite Sandwiches. I don’t know if we actually mentioned Rebecca’s favorite sandwich, but it was a great category, despite a little pushback coming from Boston natives in the crowd who, like me, had never heard of a “Spukkie.”

LEAST POPULAR CATEGORY: Everything’s Archie. Seemed like a can’t-miss but it tripped up a few teams who thought Nate “Tiny” Archibald’s nickname was Dr. J, Arches National Park was the smallest national park in the U.S. (the Gateway Arch is) and couldn’t tell you what comic book Archie’s last name was (Andrews).

BEST SCOFF: Kiara, of the Tanners, who couldn’t believe anyone wouldn’t know that the Superhero who’s alter ego’s job was to “industrialist/playboy/philanthropist” was Batman, even though it’d be more accurate to say it describes the Green Arrow.

DODGED A BULLET: Good job, players, choosing “City Nicknames” over “Oregon City Nicknames.”

RON, CRUSHING IT AS USUAL: Leave it to the Great Enigma of AV Trivia to be the only person in the room (besides the Trivia Master) who knows they call Birmingham, Alabama, “The Steel City.” Admittedly, though, Bethlehem was a good guess, everyone else.

WEIRD COINCIDENCE AWARD: To all teams for getting the exact same score (seven) on City Nicknames.

THANK YOU TO: Menage a (Here for a Good Time) stalwart Molly, for not pointing out to me that Wonder Woman has had many jobs besides Army nurse since the comic debuted in 1942. I was nervous about that one.

MR. UNPREDICTABLE: After showing up week after week, month after month, with a signature Van D**e, Spot of the RaySpots suddenly appeared sans all facial hair this week. What possesses a man to do this? Is this his version of Jeff’s hat? Does this mean it’s summer now?

That’s it for this week. See you all June 18 and remember, we have two more trivias on tap before Jody and I leave you in the capable hands of interim Trivia Masters for a month. I’ll expect a full report upon our return.

06/04/2025

At long last it’s trivia time! Be at Anchor Valley tonight for all the fun! Until then… have you ever really thought about how Superheroes make ends meet?

05/13/2025

CELEBRATING BREAKS FREE OF MEDIOCRITY

You know them as the team whose name reflects a self-imposed low ceiling, but on a night that began with a surprise impromptu celebration, Celebrating (All sorts of things) shed the albatross of their own mediocrity and came out on top, grabbing the championship belt by a slim three-point margin.

The first clue to Celebrating’s new worldview came shortly after an unusual Champion’s Walk, which featured all manner of underhanded hijinx and ended with 50 people singing “Happy Birthday” to the aging Trivia Master. Now called Celebrating Excellence, the team put together by the unfortunately absent Jill Hamilton sprinted out of the gates with a 10-point Current Events category and led wire-to-wire, navigating their way through categories that ranged from “I Want My MTV” to “Triumph of the Olds,” barely slowing down for “First Lines from Movies” and “Game Show Wikipedia” before wrapping up the win by being the only team to correctly assign the proper nicknames to all four Jersey Shore cast members, including Sammi Sweetheart, giving them all the space they needed to defeat second-place finishers (and defending co-champs) We Don’t Know How We Know That (you know them as Menage a (fill in the blank)) and the Papal-focused Conclave.

Two points back from them, in fourth place, was fast-comers We Drink and We Know Things, followed by the returning Death Star/E=Mc Hammer, whose knowledge of all things old people turned out to be incomplete, despite having at least two team members older than the sexagenarian Trivia Master.

Next up was Winnie’s Winners, who staged their usual second-half surge despite also struggling with knowledge about old people, with the Norm (and the Caregivers) Expanded Universe in seventh and Cinco Magneto (adult version) in eighth place. In a shocking development, the RaySpots, who’d lately been threatening to break through with a win stumbled home in ninth place with only Down But Not Dead, comprised of the remaining members of Pantone 294, finishing tenth because Rebecca had to take a call.

Here are your awards for May 7:

MAKING HISTORY AWARD: To all 49 who came and participated Wednesday, setting a new record for AV Trivia. We’ll get to 50 by summer’s end.

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA UPDATE: With Hadley’s dad Tanner on Injured Reserve after a harrowing dirt bike accident, it seemed like the path was clear for Seager, who knows how to capitalize on opportunity. Seager brought the full array of baby accoutrements this week, up to and including a Pak-n-Play, only to see Hadley suddenly appear halfway through the competition. At this point it’s anyone’s game.

SADDEST DEVELOPMENT: "Celebrating Mediocrity" was Jill's idea. She put it together, way back when it was called "Celebrating Mediocrity Since 1977." This week, finally, Celebrating got the win... and no Jill. I beg of you, Celebrating, allow Jill to join the champions walk on June 4. In fact, let her choose the music.

LESSON LEARNED AWARD: To the Trivia Master, who felt bad about presenting a “First Lines From Movies” category minus dates of release, only to get two of the dates wrong. Chaos ensued.

NOT AS HARD AS THEY SEEMED: First lines from movies. With or without the dates.

ALSO NOT AS HARD AS THEY SEEMED: Game show Wikipedia; seven 10s, two nines and a six, because, as we said, Rebecca was on a call.

QUICK PEEK BEHIND THE SCENES: Menage a (fill in the Blank) Sheri cracks me up. Why? Because it always looks like she didn't expect to say anything but did. Her look of bashful surprise is my spirit animal.

“IS THIS THING ON?” AWARD: E = MC Hammer will not cheer for themselves. There is nothing I can do or say that will change that. They are stoics. That job guarding Buckingham Palace is right out there for the taking, E=MC Hammer.

BEST TEAM NAME THAT I DIDN’T GET BECAUSE I’M NOT CATHOLIC: Conclave. The white smoke indicates that they finished in a tie for second.

GREAT MYSTERY OF THE UNIVERSE: Why were the RaySpots so bad this week? Even with today’s great advances in technology, we may never know the answer.

SOS: Anyone wishing to join a trivia team please contact Rebecca, Ron and Chris of Down But Not Dead/Pantone; anyone who stops me on the street to suggest a new trivia category deserves better than a team that fits at a wine barrel table.

WHAT GOES ON AROUND THE CORNER: I don’t know how many people were playing for Norm (and the Caregivers) Wednesday, because they were tucked away in front of the display case at the front of the room, but rumors are that it was more than six.

CAUTION: FLAMMABLE AWARD: To whoever makes the little candle holder things you put on birthday cakes because mine caught exploded into an inferno when I tried to blow them out.

BEST RETURN AFTER A HIATUS: As an elderly man, my memory isn’t what it used to be, but I think We Drink and We Know Things was gone last time (perhaps drinking and learning things); upon their return they notched a fourth-place finish, five points off of the lead, and scored at least seven in each category.

TYPE TWO DIABETES ENTHUSIAST: The Sergeant-at-Arms bought out Ellie’s cheesecake inventory so everyone could have cheesecake on my birthday.

ADULTS ONLY: While the unmistakable sound of video games came wafting from the Hoyals' home, Magneto fielded a decidedly more seasoned team this week, competing sans the International Man of Mystery that still managed to notch seven points in the MTV category.

That’s it for this week. Remember, May has five Wednesdays and we don’t do trivia on the fifth Wednesday. Next up: June 4.

05/07/2025

It’s trivia day!

How badly do you want your MTV?

Find out tonight!

04/22/2025

HEATED MATCH ENDS IN TIE

After last Wednesday’s Anchor Valley Trivia competition, it’s safe to say two things: 1) the vast majority of people recognize the titles of Stevie Wonder songs, especially when you say them twice; and 2) we, as a nation, have lost our way when it comes to one of our most hallowed institutions, the U.S. Postal Service. Had anyone kept their postal knowledge current, we might not have gone into the bonus round with only two points separating the top five teams. As it was, the highest anyone could manage in the controversial* “Signed, Sealed Delivered” category was a six, leaving us with a logjam as we went into the bonus.

In fact, many of the categories (each named after a Stevie Wonder song) gave our competitors problems. Through regulation play, the team(s) with the highest score could do no better than an average of slightly less than seven out of ten for each category.

It began, as it always does, with Current Events. Current Events is a bit of a wildcard. This is because the Trivia Master refuses to include the crucial current events of the day, leaning instead toward more obscure questions about B-list actors who have died, self-driving trucks and Italian fashion. The Trivia Master will not apologize, however, for including a question about Sarah Palin, of only to drive home the point that nothing is less permanent than being yesterday’s news.

The Pollenators, who’ve worn the belt twice in the past six weeks, came out of that category in the lead with seven points, one up on five other teams. From there they locked into a spirited battle with 5 Bottles In AKA Menage a (fill in the blank) that lasted all night, ending in that rarest of trivia finishes: a tie, which is less like kissing your sister when you each receive a lucrative $25 gift certificate rather than sharing one.

The two teams held off challenges from the RaySpots (One point behind the co-winners with 43, no longer the team that folds in the late going and in fact on the verge of breaking through; we’re watching you, RaySpots) and, in a three-way tie for fourth, the Magnetos, Celebrating and in fact exceeding Mediocrity and our visiting team from the San Francisco Bay Area whose name is not suitable for these pages with 41 points each.

These five teams were followed closely by Norm (and the Caregivers) with 40 and the Winnies with 39. The Winnies struggled early, as they sometimes do, and surged late, as they always do, this time after changed their name back to Winnie’s Winners. Coincidence or causality?

Bringing up the rear were newcomers Just Kidding, who may have finished in the cellar but impressed all comers with their enthusiasm and get this reminder: it was only four weeks ago that Celebrating Mediocrity was in your shoes. Now they contend for the title.

Here are your awards for April 16:

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA UPDATE: Seager returned from Injured Reserve this week but was relegated to the far-off table in the front of the room, which made it difficult to know which random outbursts were coming from Seager and which were coming from Norm. On the fashion side, Seager wore a slick onesie while Hadley debuted a frilled ensemble from her summer collection.

SPEAKING OF NORM: The sunglasses aren’t fooling us, Norm. We know it’s you. And welcome back, Julie. We missed you.

EIGHT TEAMS SAID CLEOPATRA WAS BITTEN BY AN ASP, AND THEY’RE NOT WRONG: But it takes an International Man of Mystery to pull out the conflicting belief of Roman historians who say she was poisoned. Good work, Magneto Trenton.

BEST APPEAL TO THE HEAVENS: You’re breaking my heart, Just Kidding, with the arms held outstretched to the sky.

#4 WITH A BULLET: Don’t be surprised if you see Celebrating Mediocrity wearing the belt soon. They’ve flirted with the win twice in a row and when they do win we’re going to hold an exorcism for their name.

MOST TOPICAL TEAM NAME: The Pollenators included a team member who, like many of us, is suffering from terrible allergies.


WORST CATEGORY: Signed, Sealed, Delivered, obviously. An entire category of questions whose bland obscurity placed them squarely in Goddard range* (this refers to the worst question of all time, about the inventor of liquid rocket fuel) and disappointed the Trivia Master, who thought he was being really clever.

EXCEPT FOR THIS: Roe liked it and showed me a photo of her dad in his mailman uniform afterward .

DESPERATE TIMES CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES: After scoring 8 points over the first two categories, the Winnies broke their months-long commitment to re-naming themselves, went back to the classic Winnie’s Winners and scored more points (31) over the last four categories than any other team.

SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER HEAR: The inevitable series of sophomoric double-entendre names I got from the group of successful, middle-aged dads in town to play trivia on Wednesday and then golf with me on the weekend. I will admit that Hugh Jazz cracked me up, though.

THOU DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH: Nobody, except maybe my golf buddy who wouldn’t shut up about it on Thursday, hated Signed, Sealed, Delivered more than Beth of the RaySpots, which didn’t prevent her team was scoring the most points in the category, a respectable six.

80% OF BRICE IS ENOUGH: 5 Bottles In team member Brice has lost some 60 pounds over the past few months but was robust enough to play a big role in his team’s shared win. We are expecting some nimble moves during your team’s victory walk-up, Brice.

That’s all for now — remember, April is a five-week month and there is no trivia on the 30th. Our next trivia session is May 7.

04/16/2025

Getting ready for trivia tonight and marveling at all of the insane superstitions in the world. How about you?

04/07/2025

ICE MAN PAYS TRIBUTE, WALKS AWAY WITH THE WIN

It was a touching nod to the recently departed Val Kilmer and their second win in three tries as the team from South Loop named themselves “Ice Man” and then rode a perfect bonus round to take home the Anchor Valley trivia belt last Wednesday. Rumors that team members were later spotted having dinner with the Trivia Master are unsubstantiated.

In recognition of his partial freedom from spasmodic coughing, the Trivia Master rolled out some pretty manageable categories on this night. Even the categories that were perceived as difficult, like Country Song/Fictitious Character Quote, were handled easily by the eight teams assembled. In the end the margin of victory was as slim as knowing the fourth teams to reach the 2025 women’s and men’s Final Fours — literally. The Norms, who went into the bonus clinging to a one-point lead, did not know who the fourth teams were; the Ice Man did. Ice celebrated a one-point win while Tanner of the Norms, celebrating the last few days of his 34th year, moaned, “Don’t look at us!” Upon learning of his team’s second-place finish.

Play was tight throughout. Prior to the bonus, no more than six points separated first and eighth place. Several teams notched perfect rounds and in fact the Norms and Ice Man had three each, including a perfect Car Chase/Car Race opener for the Norms, staking them to the lead they wouldn’t surrender until evening’s end. The Winnies, who as usual cycled through several permutations of the Winnie name, scored 29 points over the last three categories, ultimately finishing third, followed by last week’s winners, now called Mix Tape, whose challenges in both NCAA basketball and gardening doomed them to fourth.

Next came the RaySpots, back at full strength but with Spot suffering through post-root canal trauma, and then Celebrating Mediocrity, who freed themselves from mediocrity during the evening only to embrace celibacy at the end. Rounding out the scoring were the Stars & David, whose name included a subtle Talmudic nod much appreciated by the Trivia Master but whose choice to try and outwit said question-asker during Country Song/Quote proved to be their undoing, and We Drink, whose journey this night went from knowing things to guessing things to, finally and simply, thinking.

Here are your awards for April 2:

OFFICIAL BABY OF ANCHOR VALLEY TRIVIA UPDATE: With Seager still languishing on Injured Reserve, Hadley pounced on the opportunity for a clear runway, downing cucumbers to ease her teething discomfort and making eye contact with the Trivia Master at every opportunity. Seager faces an uphill battle when he comes back but is rumored to be rehabbing fiercely to speed up his return.

TOO CLEVER BY HALF: Nice try, Stars & David. Everyone seemed flummoxed by Country Song/Quote and everyone flirted with guaranteeing themselves a sure five points by writing the same answer 10 times. It seemed like the safe play. No one predicted that the average score (for teams that did not write in the same answer 10 times) would be nine, leaving your squad with a four-point deficit.

EASIEST CATEGORY EVER: It seemed that you’d need to be over 40, maybe 50, to nail Vintage Board Game Plot Summaries. This turned out not to be true. Six out of eight teams got perfect scores and the scoffing was non-stop, despite the absence of scoffing savant Brian. Even We Drink (and Know Things), by then battered and struggling, managed a few scoffs.

MOST COURAGEOUS PLAYER: The next time you’re scheduled for a root canal, do what Spot did and schedule it on a trivia day. What better way to get through an unpleasant dental procedure than to imagine the delights that await you, post-root canal, at Anchor Valley?

COUNTRY SONG TITLE LEFT OUT OF SONGS/QUOTES CATEGORY: “Get your tongue out of my mouth, I’m kissing your goodbye,” by Ray Stevens.

BEST NAME EVOLUTION: It took five rounds and a bonus but the journey from “Celebrating Mediocrity” to “Non-celibate Mediocrity” was worth the trip.

NON-BASKETBALL FANS: They drink and they know things, but their two-point bonus round reverse-vaulted We Drink and We Know Things from fifth place to the cellar. In general, apologies for the one-note bonus round. Next time we will embrace (categorical) diversity.

BEST BOOTS AND VEST STATEMENT: Magneto/Stars & David mainstay Jeff’s vest game is every bit as strong as his son’s commitment to cardigan sweaters. In fact, Jeff only wears vests from Filson Outfitters and pairs them with RM Williams boots from Australia. Those Blundstones favored by the Trivia Master are very pedestrian in comparison.

BEST COMMEMORATION: If you go to Ice Man team members Steve and Roe’s house right now, you will find a framed dinner napkin with their (correct) answers to the (obviously notable, since I’ve now mentioned it four times) Song Titles/Quotes category. Underneath it says “10/10. April 2, 2025. The framed napkin was presented to them at a dinner party Saturday night by Nice Guy Mike, who was clearly impacted by this historic feat.