09/15/2024
Pony’s Burning Manologues, part 6
“Reclaiming the Burn.”
I went into the 2024 Burn with the intention of reclaiming it for Ben and I. Each of my four previous Burns has been transformational, and while all have involved personal growth and access to wonder and overcoming challenges, two of them have included destruction and anguish and heartbreak alongside the beauty and joy.
The last two Burns burned down my life. After the 2023 Burn, I didn’t know who I was going to be in the aftermath, digging out of the wreckage. This year, as I have rebuilt a life I am proud of, worked to be the person I want to be, returning to the Burn was a bit scary. But I knew how integral the connection and wonder and joy and growth of the Burn was to me, and I didn’t want to lose it to the sadness, to the trauma, to my history. Thankfully, Ben also wanted to reclaim it. He wasn’t willing to let the past ruin the future of our Burns together.
We wondered where the triggers would be, when the dust would uncover any wounds that remained. And there were a few moments where we winced, moments where thoughts spun the wrong direction, but all in all, the Burn was gentle with us. The Burn healed far more than it hurt.
I’ll always be grateful that Bunny was open to this experience with me again.
We took the Burn back, and the Burn took us back.
—
• I squeezed into a tight ladder chute, got my blond mohawk caught in the doorway, and climbed inside a two-story neon mushroom.
• I saddled a giant metal jackalope (which is an antlered bunny, not to be confused with the h***y Bunny who was on playa all week.)
• I biked into a portal of light and sound, through circles of LED stretching the length of a football field.
• I danced in tighty-whities, and helped to create a weirdly fun and s*xy moment where hundreds of people danced in tighty whities covered in dust.
• I climbed a giant rocking horse and rocked.
• I got interrupted during s*x to introduce the second DJ. Be right there.
• I walked under the arch that promised “We Will Dance Again” and read the 405 names.
• I lay on a blanket, under an art piece, and watched the sun set alone.