10/04/2025
🎃🇺🇸 MARK’S MISSION: PUMPKINS FOR PEACE 🇺🇸🎃
An urgent message from Ed & Sharon’s:
The restaurant will be CLOSED on Saturday, October 4th, not due to plumbing issues, staffing shortages, or a fried cheese curd emergency—but because Mark is on an urgent diplomatic mission to Washington, D.C.
Yes. You read that right.
After months of tending bar, chasing rodeo bulls, dodging the Buggy Brotherhood, and helping the feds infiltrate the Amish Rodeo Clown cartel, Mark has been summoned to the capital for one more crisis: de-escalating the 2025 government shutdown.
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🕊️ A Nation Divided. A Bartender Called.
With tensions running high on Capitol Hill, no one could agree on anything—budgets, legislation, even where to eat lunch. But one man had a vision: Mark. He loaded up his buggy with 12 magical pumpkins, each one infused with peace, understanding, and cinnamon spice. His plan? Line the Capitol steps with glowing gourds until both parties agree to sit down, carve a jack-o’-lantern together, and pass a reasonable budget.
“It worked at Hodag when the beer ran out,” Mark allegedly told a Senate staffer. “These pumpkins don’t just bring people together… they heal.”
As of now, he’s somewhere between Pennsylvania Avenue and a roadside produce stand, preaching nonpartisan pumpkin diplomacy and passing out warm cider in the name of peace.
🍽️ We’ll Reopen Soon!
Fear not, friends. Ed & Sharon’s will reopen Sunday, October 5th at noon, assuming Mark doesn’t get elected Speaker of the House.
In the meantime, hug a pumpkin. Light a candle. Say a prayer for bipartisanship—and for Mark.
Because when history books are written, they won’t say Congress saved us.
They’ll say a bartender named Mark, armed with squash and gourds, turned this country around.
