03/28/2025
My mom always said that the rays of sunshine were angels coming down β¨οΈ I took this picture on my last trip to visit her. A trip that we all knew was coming. However, we were still not ready.
We lost our mom this week. We were all together as a family with her, as she would've wanted.
Here is a story from one of my visits with her in the hospital this past week.
As I was sitting and talking with her one day, a nurse came in to do an echocardiogram on mom. A simple procedure and a motion that the nurse has done so many times, I wonder if she knows the effect it had on me.
The lights were off, so it was darker, just the light from the hallway and window shined through. It was quiet. The lady started in. We had small talk for a few minutes, and then we all stopped talking. Mom had her eyes closed. I just kept staring at the screen, watching the movement of her heart as she went on gathering all of the images and information that she needed. I was wondering how long it would take until I could get back to my mom.
And then it hit me. As soon as I could hear her heart pumping. My mood had changed.
It has been hard watching her body and mind slowly fade as her heart had been weakening over the past two years. However, when I heard it pumping, I realized it was still so full of love! For 77 years, her heart had kept her alive and had been filled with so much love for all of us! I just kept watching it and listening to it. β€οΈ
I thought about when she was pregnant for me many years ago and got to hear my heartbeat for the first time! What a circle of life! What a simple procedure that gave me this moment!
I will always have this memory, along with many great memories with her. We know she is happy. We know she is at peace. There is just a hole in all of us now.....
It will always be a question in my mind. Why people don't do the things they love? Why do people wait for the "right time"? Why do people never tell that special someone how much they really mean? Why don't people challenge themselves? Why don't people pay attention to the small things?
There are so many why's.
My biggest Why ~ Why don't people really live while they are here on earth?