03/30/2024
Yesterday, I had the honor and privilege of marrying the most kind and beautiful family I have ever met. One of the brides came first, escorting her elderly mother, and explained (unnecessarily apologetically) that she would need to bring the other members of the party in one at a time due to their physical limitations. As I sat with her mother and waited, she described how her husband of almost 60 years had dementia, and I could feel the heartbreak in her voice as she talked about how hard it was to watch your best friend and soulmate slipping away. I held her hand and listened as she recalled warm memories of their life together, laughing and crying with her in equal parts.
A few minutes later, the bride reappeared with her father, shuffling slowly with that all-too-familiar unfocused gaze of a mind that is not quite there. I gently seated him next to his wife, and he seemed delighted and surprised to see her, despite the fact that they had driven for hours from Baltimore seated side by side. He smiled and told her she was beautiful. He wore an Air Force veteran's hat, and though he could not quite remember where he had served, he returned my salute with a snap as I thanked him for his service.
When the bride returned next, she was pushing a wheelchair with her developmentally-disabled teenage son, whom the couple had adopted at 7-years-old because, in her words, "no one wanted him, and we couldn't just leave him there". He was non-verbal but cheerful, and understood what was said to him, especially when I asked him if he was looking forward to their celebratory dinner later. The word "pasta" made him giggle with delight, as it was his favorite food, and he was clearly looking forward to having some. He had recently developed a seizure disorder, and (despite having had one earlier in the day) was alert and in good spirits.
The second bride arrived with her young daughter, who seemed far older than her years as she gently tended to her brother during the short but sweet ceremony.
And as they posed for happy family photos afterward, I was struck by just how much love radiated from them all. It was an unconventional family, to be sure, but I can't recall ever having seen a stronger one. And it made me think of my father, who -- though he often told me how much he loved my chapel and what I do there -- never specifically said the words "I'm proud of you." But after he died, I heard it from many of his friends and associates.
And just then, I felt it. I knew that my dad, had he been present for this moment, would have been proud of me for creating a place where this beautiful family could celebrate their love. My mother passed away long before it existed, but I hoped she would have felt the same.
The chapel hasn't been a huge moneymaker for me; although I do make a small profit, it mostly pays for things like a nice dinner out a few times a month, or car repairs, or new cat trees that my as***le cats will definitely not use. But, on days like today, it reminds me that it has been a huge success in other ways, and that is why I continue to do what I do.
As I am currently at something of a crossroads, I'm not exactly sure how much longer I will keep the doors open, as life seems to be pulling me in different directions. But it's moments like this that make me incredibly proud of what I've created, as it has brought so much joy to so many people...including myself. And I am beyond grateful that couples and families continue to allow me into their lives, if only for a brief time. These are the moments I will look back on one day and smile, if I am lucky enough to die an old lady, hopefully surrounded by a loving family of my own.
So I just wanted to say: thank you to everyone who has supported me and my humble little chapel over these past 5 years. It means the world to me, and I couldn't have done it without you.
Much love to you all.
