Grace Ceremonies

01/16/2025

Look out! I'm on my soapbox!! 📢

Why, you ask?

Well, I was SO excited to be part of a magazine cover-story...until I read the feature.

Find out more: https://mailchi.mp/graceceremonies/we-need-a-new-story?e=dadd7fec13

01/03/2025

The new Grace Notes loveletter is here!

Are you making New Year's resolutions? Close the books on 2024 and plan for the year ahead.

https://mailchi.mp/graceceremonies/what-goes-what-stays

12/30/2024

Let's "ring" in the New Year! 💍🥂😘

https://graceceremonies.com/ceremony-officiant/elopement-ceremonies/

12/20/2024

Tomorrow the Northern Hemisphere celebrates the Winter Solstice, marking the sun’s “rebirth” as it begins its return journey northward and daylight grows stronger once more.

I will be embracing the dark on this longest of all nights: the potentiality, the unmanifest, the yet to be…

Read more in my latest Grace Notes loveletter: Celebrating the Light 🌕Embracing the Dark 🌑
https://mailchi.mp/graceceremonies/celebrate-the-light

11/14/2024

The purpose of ceremony is in seeing, and being seen.

The meaning is in knowing, and being known.

The value is in feeling, and being felt.

Accessing our purpose, meaning and values is among the core principles of psychosynthesis, the spiritual psychology I studied after ordination.

I had already started Grace Ceremonies and begun officiating by the time I completed my practitioner training, not knowing then how the two would overlap.

Now, a decade later, I understand how truly powerful ceremonies can be: for couples establishing their union, for loved ones honoring a life's legacy, for families growing their identity as a unit, and for individuals integrating their choices and experiences.

Why? Because my ceremonies help manifest purpose, meaning and values.

They are so much more than beautiful...well-written...lovingly delivered...

They are vehicles of transformation.

They are mirrors for truth.

They are doorways to connection.

They allow you see, know and feel what matters in the moment. And to share it with the people most precious to you.

Whether spiritual or secular, ceremonies are sacred.

11/12/2024

I'm a minister without walls.

True, I don't operate within the physical bounds of a faith community or the ideological confines of a faith doctrine.

But no one falls outside my circle of care.

The Latin word 'minister' means 'servant,' and I am proud to serve people of all religious and political beliefs, ages and abilities, education and financial means, races and ethnicities, gender expressions and sexual orientations.

I entered Interfaith seminary over 14 years ago knowing that inclusivity, appreciation and respect for all people was the only path I could follow to fulfill my calling to ministry.

Since then, I've served many who think, act and feel differently than I do. But I've never met someone who didn't hold hopes and fears, who didn't experience joys and sorrows, who didn't know love and loss.

There are no strangers in our shared humanity.

Sikh activist, author and lawyer Valerie Kaur prompts, "What happens when we love beyond our immediate circle; when we love others who do not look like us? When we choose to love even those we see as our opponents? What happens when we love without limit? Love becomes revolutionary."

I'm here for the revolution. I'm here to answer the call of love through service. All are welcome here. As Kaur says, "You are a part of me I do not yet know."

Photo by

11/11/2024

We've been here before.

Fear and uncertainty is part of our shared human experience. But some leaders exploit fear to gain power, then use their power to threaten those who don't have or feel secure in the privilege of state-sponsored protections.

This is not new, but it is no less dangerous or reprehensible today. We are all accountable to our fellow human beings (and all life forms, including the earth herself) to stand up and protect one another from harm.

This election has unleashed a fresh flood of fear and uncertainty, whether because of our relationships, religion, gender expression, immigration status, access to health care and so much more.

I helped couples secure their unions the last time our country was lead by a person who operated by fear-of and power-over. I will be here this time, too. Let me know if you need to get married. Let me know if you need someone to talk to, or hold your hand, or pray with you.

And, to let you know: I see you. You are not alone. I stand united in love, for love. I will not be divided by hate or cease to work for the care and protection of all beings, everywhere.

Photo by

10/30/2024

Rachel and Kenneth's wedding might just take the cake on spectacular autumn elopements!

The couple reached out to me in April, hoping to find an officiant who could make their October elopement extra special.

The only caveat?

It would involve hiking to a waterfall.

Little did they know, hiking to a waterfall would have me jumping up and down, Yes Please!!!!!! ✋🏼

The day itself was magical: one of those perfect fall afternoons with still, soft air and gentle temperatures, colorful leaves bedecking the forest and the loveliest slant of golden sunlight filtering through the trees...

You know those days I'm talking about, right? Wow.

Still, the beauty all around us could not compare to the feeling of being with Kenneth and Rachel as they hiked, laughing and reminiscing together all the way up the trail.

And then, upon reaching the cascading falls where the couple planned to exchange their vows, a peace settled among our little gathering.

I guided the couple through some intentional breathing and centering, settling them into this moment...set aside from all that has been...and all that will yet be.

There, with open hearts, the two of them entered into their union. And despite the sense that not much would change between them, the final photos show that through this ceremony, something very important had, indeed.

Photos by Dear Edith and Lily.
https://graceceremonies.com/ceremony-officiant/elopement-ceremonies

10/29/2024

I love the beauty of autumn, and I love it when two people want to "make it official" in one of their favorite places in nature.

Two years ago, Paige and Brenda chose Mount Pollux in Amherst for their October elopement ceremony, a conservation area with a gorgeous old maple tree at its peak and 360-degree views of the surrounding valley and mountains.

These ceremonies not only give couples the chance to make their promise to one another somewhere that's special to them, but with someone who's not just solemnizing their marriage.

As one couple put it, "We thought we'd get married in a civil ceremony by an 'authorized' person we would rarely think of again. You changed all that. From our first meeting, we knew you were the one to marry us. I cannot imagine our day with anyone other than you officiating."

To me, no matter what form or shape your wedding ceremony takes, I know this moment will be one of the most important and memorable of your entire lives.

To stand beside two people as they dedicate their hearts to each other is a joy that never dims, and an honor I am forever grateful to have.

Photos by Lindsey Topham.
https://graceceremonies.com/ceremony-officiant/elopement-ceremonies

10/28/2024

Autumn is my favorite season, and elopements are some of my favorite ceremonies!

Why? Well, as one eloping bride explained it, "The stress of intense planning and attending to endless details was not the way we wanted to begin our next chapter together. Our only thoughts that day were for each other."

As an experienced officiant, I understand the special energy created by being witnessed; by guests who are truly partaking of the moment with the couple.

But I also know that couples who elope are often automatically in that open-hearted, soulful space together.

With no extraneous details to manage, no people to perform for and or please, and with me as loving facilitator and honored witness, these couples get to have the intensely private and personally meaningful ceremony they dream of...and I get to share it!

So bring me to the woods, the mountaintops, or, in Jess and Andrew's case, the Arnold Arboretum under the golden linden trees. Lucky me! Let's make a one-of-a-kind ceremony for your one-and-only marriage.

Five Octobers ago, Andrew and Jess's ceremony started with a moment of centering, invocation and blessing, before the couple read each other poems they'd selected, were bound in a handfasting ritual, and sealed their union with personal vows...and, of course, a kiss!

Pictures by Love & Perry.
https://graceceremonies.com/ceremony-officiant/elopement-ceremonies/

10/21/2024

My latest Grace Notes loveletter is all about how to choose a poem or reading for your wedding ceremony. I've got ten questions to help!

The first five give you a sense of your overall motivation to include readings and poems in your ceremony (your WHY—we always start there!)

The next five offer clues about the type of poem or reading you may be looking for (your WHAT) and how to narrow down your options and hone in on a selection that will enhance your ceremony.

But really, it's the final rubric I use which is most important:

- Does the poem or reading really FEEL like you?
- Does it spark something, or help anchor you in the moment?
- Does it deepen the bond with your partner and loved ones?

Because ultimately, it's only this ☝🏼 that matters.

How to discern what selection (or several, or perhaps none!) is right for your ceremony:
https://mailchi.mp/graceceremonies/most-importantly-love

10/18/2024

For many couples, they hear "Wedding Readings" and the proverbial 1 Corinthians 13 (Love is patient, love is kind...) automatically springs to mind.

What if I told you I have experienced even a reading as well-worn as Corinthians sparkle with meaning? How? Because readings aren't really about words. They are about feelings.

Wedding readings can be anything from the chorus to a folk song, a haiku, lines from a fantasy movie, or an avant-garde poem. I’ve officiated ceremonies that included each of these examples, and many that have included none at all.

With your internal compass as a reliable guide, you can trust the feeling of Yes when you're choosing a reading for your wedding ceremony.

What's the feeling of Yes, you ask?

Like when you knew your partner was “The One,” or the moment you found the ring, or tried on the dress, it’s an unmistakable feeling of rightness, of resonance.

Without thinking about it, you just know.

I have close to 100 pages of quotes, sayings, poems and readings, curated from my dozen years of officiating wedding ceremonies.

How could any couple possibly hope to consider all of those – not to mention everything you can find on the internet! – without trusting that when the “perfect” one comes along, you’ll recognize it?

Check out my latest Grace Notes loveletter about choosing wedding readings and poems for 10 questions to help discern what selection (or several, or perhaps none!) is right for your ceremony:
https://mailchi.mp/graceceremonies/most-importantly-love

10/17/2024

When I work with couples to plan their wedding, I often hear from them an initial assumption: Ceremonies Include Readings.

At least usually, they might add…

I mean, right?, they wonder.

Well, my answer to that (and almost everything!) is more nuanced than YES or NO.

First, there are no “shoulds” when it comes to planning your ceremony with me. Like it or not, I won’t tell you that you have to do…well…anything.

And second (which follows from the above), your choice of whether or not to include a reading or poem in your ceremony comes from the inside out.

What does that mean, you ask?

You see, without even realizing it, we usually base our decisions on what our event will look like – or what the structure will be – and then figure out what will fit in the space we’ve created for it.

In other words, from the outside in.

But with a poem or reading, we start by considering what can’t be seen or heard, but felt.

Check out my latest Grace Notes loveletter about choosing wedding readings and poems for 10 questions to help discern what selection (or several, or perhaps none!) is right for your ceremony.

https://mailchi.mp/graceceremonies/most-importantly-love

10/11/2024

The International Wave of Light on October 15th connects individuals, families and supporters worldwide in remembrance of the babies they have lost to miscarriage, TFMR, stillbirth or infant death.

If you're grieving a loss, however long ago it may have occurred, read my Guide to Creating Rituals for Pregnancy & Infant Loss and see whether this "ancient technology" (as anthropologist and author Dimitris Xygalatas calls ritual) would be meaningful for you. ❤️

Table of Contents

10/09/2024

In honor of International Bereaved Mother's Day, I wrote a guide for Empty Arms Bereavement Support to help mothers and families create rituals for pregnancy and infant loss.

Why? Because ceremony and ritual belong to everyone.

They are not the privilege of religious institutions or clergy people; they are not available only to certain practitioners or experts.

They belong to us. ALL of us.

Since prehistoric times, people have used ritual and ceremony to celebrate, to mourn, to express wonder, to offer gratitude, to ask for help, to find comfort in solitude, to gather strength in community…

Today, rituals and ceremonies can have a meaningful role in grieving and celebrating the baby who has so profoundly changed us, helping us begin to integrate their loss into our life’s journey.

Of course, faith traditions, clergy members, wise elders, experienced professionals and sometimes our own friends and family can be a wonderful help in creating or leading a ritual or ceremony, providing guidance and holding space when we cannot.

But most of us already have that idea.

I want to offer permission to trust ourselves: our own wisdom, intuition and knowing.

Even without experience to rely on, we already know something about how to do this.

My hope is that, after reading this guide, mothers and families feel enabled and empowered to honor the loss of their child, whether in a ceremony or ritual they design themselves or in collaboration with someone they trust.

🔗 Here's the link to my guide: https://graceceremonies.com/rituals-for-pregnancy-infant-loss/

Photo by Isabella Dellolio Photography

10/08/2024

October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, marked annually by the International Wave of Light. This event connects individuals, families and supporters worldwide in remembrance of the babies they have lost to miscarriage, TFMR, stillbirth or infant death.

After leading rituals for groups like Empty Arms Bereavement Supportt and WellMama, I explained in a guest column from the Daily Hampshire Gazette (2020) why it is critical that we change the silence surrounding these losses.

Take a note from trauma therapist and bestselling author Shannon Moroney who points out the range of possibilities for responding to pain, loss, grief or trauma include:

BEST: Saying the right thing
OKAY: Saying the wrong thing
WORST: Saying nothing

Read more in my latest Grace Notes loveletter: https://mailchi.mp/graceceremonies/wave-of-light

10/07/2024

Some of you already know October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. Maybe you know because, like me, you’re among those who have experienced a loss, or love someone who has.

It is estimated that at least one in every four pregnancies ends in loss. And yet, despite its prevalence, all too often these losses go unseen and unspoken.

Long before experiencing my own loss, I have been creating space to honor other’s. From the child born still and the memorial garden we dedicated to him, to the recurrent miscarriages we walked into the woods to give name to and cry for, there is a shared yearning to recognize these babies, to be seen in this loss and to mourn with others.

I am humbled to help hold these sorrows and honor the babies whose life and death has so changed their loved ones. I offer my services to mothers and families by donation, whether it be performing a private ritual, officiating a public celebration of life, helping plan a backyard tree planting or simply talking about ways these children can be memorialized.

Read my latest Grace Notes loveletter, Bringing Loss Out of the Shadows: https://mailchi.mp/graceceremonies/wave-of-light?e=dadd7fec13

Photo by Isabella Dellolio Photography