04/05/2023
Just for laughs ahead…
This morning, I decided I needed to give the chickens their “chicky treat.” At our house, a “chicky treat” is basically anything we give the chickens besides their regular feed.
And, on really warm days, one of their favorites is a huge pan of water with frozen fruit. Since they’ve actually been laying eggs and not freeloading, I figured they deserved the “chicky water” too.
I filled the pan with cool water and added half a bag of frozen berries. Then, I started rummaging through the fridge to see what kind of food I could give them.
They always love fridge clean out days because they get all of the food that is about three seconds away from going bad. So, for them, that always means a smorgasbord of random foods, all mixed together. Yummm. 😝
My hands were completely full this morning, as I walked out the door. Of course, with it being only 7 am, I’m barely dressed. I’m rocking my hot pink robe and my brown Ugg slippers. Lookin’ pretty 👌👌 if I do say so myself… 😅
I wasn’t worried. I was headed to see my feathery friends who never judge me. I could come out stark naked and they wouldn’t say a word. They would be just as happy to see me as any other day. I’m telling you, they are the best kind of friends to have. Again, not the judgmental type.
I opened the garage door and headed towards the coop. Toting the oversized pan, the large bowl of Mexican food and a bag of spinach, I trekked down the driveway. I stepped carefully across the gravel, avoiding the sharpest rocks.
As I’m walking, I step on a sharp rock and start to stumble a bit. I walk sideways to correct my footsteps and avoid falling. But, as I was doing so, the full-to-the-brim pan also went a bit sideways. The chicken and rice started sloshing around in the bowl.
**This right here folks, is where the chicken judging began…**
As soon as they saw me walking towards them, pan in hand, they knew I was coming for a visit. They always know when I’m wearing the hot pink robe that it’s gonna be fridge treat day! And, they know this because I’ve proven it to them time and time again. Now, they know I don’t go into the barn for feed when I’m wearing my robe and slippers.
So, to the chickens, hot pink robe and slippers equals the “good chicky treats.”
They ran to the door and waited for me, clucking with excitement. They watched me as I carefully avoided the sharp rocks and the dips in the driveway. When I was about twenty feet away, I stepped on a large, pointy rock.
I yelled out, “OUCH!! Dang rock!!”
Then, I swayed left and right, trying to fix the situation. But, it was too late. At some point, my ankle twisted and down I went, fruit and all.
They saw the pan and their fruit go flying. The chicken and rice trembled in the bowl, as I hit the ground. In slow motion, they watched as their beloved treats fell all around me. And, all over me. I had fruit from head to toe. Chicken and rice was caked in my hair and running down my face. It was a kitchen nightmare.
And, as my chickens watched me, they judged me…
The slow clucking started almost immediately. “Waaaa waaaaaaa waaaaa waaaaa waaa.”
The slow cluck sounded JUST like what I image a sewing circle sounds like. All the women of the town, (chickens in this case) gathered ‘round the fire, gossiping while they crocheted baby blankets.
And, today, I was their subject of gossip. Lucky me…
Louise: Did you see her?!! Falling like that? What an atrocity!
Chicken Noodle: Yes! I sure did. And, wearing that hot pink robe again! What was she thinking?
Etta Pearl: (eyes rolling) Clearly ladies, she wasn’t thinking.
Chicken Patty: Is that CHICKEN??!!
It was like they all had an epiphany. At the same time, they all realized I had been carrying chicken in that bowl. This is when they came unglued. All at once, they started working to get the coop door open.
Before I knew what was happening, Louise had jumped on Dr. Pe**er’s back and was carefully picking the lock to the coop door. I sat on the ground, stunned. The lock clicked and the coop door swung open, releasing the angry birds.
My eyes grew wide as a herd of chickens ran toward me. It was a chicken mutiny. I stood to my feet as fast as I could, and began hobbling for the garage door. I could hear the tapping of their little feet behind me. They were gonna eat me. My life, as I knew it, was going to be over in a matter of minutes.
Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.
I looked behind me. There had to be at LEAST two hundred chickens running in my direction. But, I didn’t have two hundred chickens.
Before I could give it anymore thought, our rooster, Dr. Pe**er ran in front of me. He strategically stuck his chicken leg out in front of me, tripping me. As I went down, I knew this was the end. I closed my eyes, ready to meet my maker. I could already feel them nibbling on my left leg. And, I knew it was over…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Startled, I raised out of bed, taking a deep breath. I could still feel the nibbling on my left leg. I looked down to see our dog biting my blanket. This is when I realized it had all been a dream. Whew. Chicken crisis averted.
Realizing it was late, I stood up and reached for my hot pink robe and slippers. As I grabbed the pink fabric, flashbacks of my dream came to mind. I quickly threw the robe to the floor and decided I had better change into “real” clothes. After all, I couldn’t face a chicken mutiny in my un**es.
😂😆😂
**,Copied from a friend**
