Beloved

05/14/2020

We're center stage again! Beloved is thrilled to be featured in the latest issue of Funeral Business Advisor. Read the interview with Petra Lina Orloff here: You can read it here: bit.ly/35WYqqm

04/20/2020

Want to reassure your audience and instill trust? Communicate clearly. Consider your language. Communicate with empathy and also, communicate with care.
1. STOP USING THE WORD UNCERTAIN. The more your audience hears and reads the word uncertain, the more uncertain they feel.
2. STOP SENDING MIXED SIGNALS. Your message is unclear when you use the phrase "uncertain times" and then also write something like, "we will be here for you." Times are not uncertain. We are in the midst of a pandemic. INSTEAD, tell people you will be here to support them during the pandemic.
3. STOP WRITING "WHEN THIS ENDS." Don't dwell in the future and speculate about what happens after the pandemic. You don't know how long it will last, or where things will stand.
INSTEAD, stay in the present and give people information they can use right now.
4. STOP WRITING "THERE IS SO MUCH WE DON'T KNOW." Don't contribute to the panic. If you are trying to reassure your audience, don't scare them at the same time.
INSTEAD, eliminate this kind of phrasing.
5. STOP USING THE PHRASE "UNPRECENDENTED TIMES." INSTEAD, write what you mean: pandemic or COVID-19. Also, the word unprecedented reads insurmountable. Again, you are sending mixed signals.

04/16/2020

We write memory. We write history. We write ceremony. We write love. We are the centerpiece of the celebration. We write memorials to be heard. Video courtesy of The Martenson Family of Funeral Homes, April 15, 2020.

04/13/2020

When a 115-year-old funeral home loses its patriarch, a man who spent over 65 years as a licensed funeral director and embalmer, the family calls Beloved to write the obituary.

Share Memories and Support the Family.

04/08/2020

An About Us page that people actually want to read starts with an incredible biography. We write dynamic, interesting, creative biographies.

Allen Dave: Renaissance Man

More than anything, I know how to celebrate life. Funerals, weddings, bridal showers, birthdays, anniversaries: I have had a hand in manifesting dreams, recording happiness, creating beauty, and preserving legacy for most of my life. For me, my business is not work, it is not a career, it is not employment. It is my mission and, my greatest pleasure.

I started in publishing and entered the service industry, creating an opportunity in videography which led to an opportunity producing bridal shows and expos, which naturally continued into a thriving business in event planning. Moving my professionalism, creativity, and my connection to honoring life and love into the funeral industry was instinctual and pure: I wanted to build a community of homes to serve my community. Based on the principles of forging enduring relationships, mutual respect, and positive experience, I put my name and my own ethics and conviction into the character of Allen Dave Funeral Homes and Crematorium, comprised of three funeral homes, one cemetery, and a crematorium.

Connecting myself to death, dying, and grief means I am also tying myself to conversations about love, living, and life. I am part of people's crisis and sadness, but I am also able to contribute to their celebration and joy. The most difficult moment of my life was telling my own children that their own young mother had died, at age 39. I know how death effects life, and I understand grief. I use my own experiences with death, a childhood spent attending funerals with my grandparents and great-grandparents, and learning from a great uncle who was also in the profession. I grew up in a community in which not only attending memorials, but attending to families was commonplace. The food - the cakes, the pies, the salads and fried chicken - the humor, the stories, the love, the encouragement: it's all still very vivid. This is the kind of caring I have infused into my own funeral business, and the kind of celebratory atmosphere, kinship, and support I offer not only my clients, but my employees every single day.

I want to live a dynamic and prosperous life. Making my own, dear mother proud and taking care of her, trying to give as much as she has given me, the time I share with my wife Micca, delighting in her love, her nurturing soul, and also, her excellent cooking, and also, the time I have enjoyed raising my three children, Barrington, Jasmine, and Alexandria, my pride in their accomplishments, my desire to see them fulfilled, happy, and safe, all of this makes what I do and the time I spend away from them worth all that I give. My wealth is my home. It is my mother, her love and her life. It is my younger sister for whom I attempt to be a role model and also, a leader: she makes me live my very best life. My wealth is Micca, who provides me what I give to my clients every day. It is her compassion, and her sensitivity. My wealth is three beautiful, intelligent, and successful children. My wealth will be grandchildren and great-grandchildren, birthdays celebrated, meals shared, laughter, chatter, and play. My wealth is my church, where I am a deacon and where I celebrate the center of my grace and life's blessings, God. My wealth is also my home and the community I serve. My family and my community prosper with every family that walks into one of my homes and receives the dignity, respect, and commemoration they and their loved ones deserve. We all prosper when we can provide a moment of relief, an occasion for laughter, a moving memorial, or a bit of closure. This is how I was raised and it is also how I will die.

My memorial will be a three-day event, complete with multiple visitations, receptions, and celebrations. Like a true renaissance man, I intend to bring together my family, my friends, my business partners, my employees, and my community, because I live as I want to die, a man who serves fellow man, but who is also humbled by the love, the life, and the prosperity he has been so fortunate to receive.

Allen Dave Funeral Homes & Crematorium / www.allendave.com

04/01/2020

How can your company build trust if you won't refer to current events in a direct and efficient manner? Nearly everything we have seen written about the COVID-19 outbreak and ensuing quarantine has referred to it as "this difficult time." We are not merely in a difficult time. We are experiencing a global outbreak of COVID-19. We are amidst a worldwide pandemic. A difficult time does not begin to describe your audience who may be out of work, sick, or dying. Instead of using glossy business-speak or corporate garbage talk, use real words which resonate with real people. Start with our brief primer on communicating with care, below.
INSTEAD OF: This difficult time / This new normal
USE: Covid-19 outbreak / worldwide pandemic
INSTEAD OF: Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
USE: We are sorry you are hurting / afraid / worried / troubled.
INSTEAD OF: Our deepest sympathies.
USE: We are very sorry and if we may, we'd like to help.
INSTEAD OF: Condolences.
USE: We wish you weren't hurting.
INSTEAD OF: I am honored.
USE: I appreciate your time and your trust in me.

03/30/2020

LIVE YOUR LEGACY NOW. John Jacob Astor, the first U.S. multi-millionaire, whose immense fortune was gained selling illegal drugs, systematically cheating and manipulating Native Americans, paying off politicians, and exploiting workers, died this week in New York City in 1848. He was 84. Today, his legacy in New York's real estate market is best preserved in the Waldorf Astoria New York hotel, built by his great-grandson John Jacob Astor IV, who died aboard the ill-fated Titanic in 1912, where his attempt to board a life boat with his new bride, a scandalous marriage in itself, was stopped by a ship's officer, who told Astor IV he could not board a life boat until all women and children were safely off the ship. Despite Astor's late life humanitarian efforts and post-mortem humanitarian efforts from Astor IV's widow, truth prevails, and neither man's legacy can be whitewashed.

03/17/2020

The more information you have, the better.

After more than 100 years in business, AJ Desmond & Sons funeral home thought they’d seen everything. But they have never seen this.

03/16/2020

"Hoarding My Father." Who else are we effecting when we plan for death? Read our latest article on love, pain, and memorialization in Funeral Business Advisor. https://bit.ly/2QlEnv8

03/09/2020

Petra Lina Orloff is bringing some Death Talk to New Mexico this week. We love talking about personal legacy and memorialization. Many thanks to Morris Hall, PLLC and Berardinelli Family Funeral Service.

03/05/2020

Beloved's Petra Lina Orloff speaking at Detroit Death Talk - Royal Oak at Wm. Sullivan & Son Funeral Directors in Royal Oak. Can't wait for the next one at The Martenson Family of Funeral Homes in Trenton on April 28.

02/18/2020

My file contains, amongst other things, my 7-Eleven rewards card because someone ought to benefit from my periodic Mountain Dew binges. Let's talk about organizing your life Detroit Death Talk - Royal Oak.

One of the essential things to do before you die is to prepare a folder.

02/10/2020

!!WARNING!! Orson Bean was a pretty salty nut, so there are many items we would definitely write into his obituary, but which might be a bit too spirited for the likes of Facebook. A watered-down paragraph follows.

A comedian turned Broadway thespian turned blacklisted Hollywood actor, Orson Bean was struck not by one, but by two cars in Los Angeles on February 7. The second collision proved fatal and Bean, who had nearly 200 film and television credits, died at age 91. Not a leading man, but a household name, Bean made more than 200 appearances on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show and guest-hosted the late-night program over 100 times. It should be noted that Bean is the founding member of "Sons of the Desert," a national organization dedicated to comedy team Laurel and Hardy. It should also be noted that Bean said this, in reference to one of the world's deadliest snakes, "The Gaboon Viper, so named because it bites you in the Gaboon." And of the greatest note, he said this, defending his pierced left ear, "If a pirate can wear an earring, why can't I wear an earring?" Needless to say, but say it we must, Bean will be missed.

02/06/2020

An icon of Hollywood's Golden Age and a prominent leading man, Kirk Douglas was also a producer, director, and author. However, it's his role in ending Hollywood blacklisting that was his most influential. He produced and starred in Spartacus, adapted by a blacklisted screenwriter from a book written by a blacklisted author. Douglas publicly announced that Dalton Trumbo wrote the script for Spartacus and soon after, President John F. Kennedy crossed picket lines to see the film, essentially ending the blacklisting of artists suspected of being associated with the Communist party. Much like the slave who led a revolt against the mighty Roman Republic, Douglas defeated Hollywood. He is Spartacus.

02/04/2020

Tell the Story - FEBRUARY 4, 1987 - Liberace

Known as Mr. Showmanship, he was an energetic publicity machine who made himself into the highest paid entertainer in the world. Yet, through his 40-year career, he was mocked by the media, which used his self-described effeminate personality, his flamboyant eccentricities, and his over-the-top gimmicks to harass him about his sexuality. After he died, a statement was released indicating that Liberace's death from complications related to AIDS was deliberately concealed. This statement cemented Liberace's legacy. His obituaries were dominated by his AIDS "scandal" and his lifelong denials of homosexuality, not his concert residency in Las Vegas, his television and film work, his Emmy Awards, six gold albums, two stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, his autobiography, and the 56 sold-out shows he performed at Radio City Music Hall, a box-office record.

01/30/2020

Tell the Story - JANUARY 30, 1948 - Mahatma Gandhi
"An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind."

Without Mahatma Gandhi, there would be no Martin Luther King Jr. Without Mahatma Gandhi, there would be no Nelson Mandela. Without Mahatma Gandhi, there would be no Cesar Chavez. Without Mahatma Gandhi, our world would have suffered even more. He was a freedom fighter who didn't fight and a saintly statesman whose words, actions, and deeds inspired thousands of peaceful activist movements across the world. The architect of non-violent protest and long considered to be the "father" of India, as well as the "grandfather" of South Africa, he led the fight for independence from British colonial rule in India after advocating for civil rights for Indians in South Africa. On this day in 1948, Gandhi was shot to death by a fanatic who believed he was too tolerant.

01/27/2020

In just 41 years, Kobe Bean Bryant became a world-renowned basketball player, won five NBA championships and two Olympic gold medals, learned to speak two foreign languages fluently, wrote poetry, performed and recorded as a hip hop artist, owned a venture capital firm, became an established philanthropist, created Granity Studios, a multimedia original content company, publicly admitted to his mistakes, celebrated 19 years in marriage, raised a family, and won an Emmy and an Academy Award. Do not let his death sadden you. Instead, let his life inspire you.

This should be the opening of his obituary. Because everyone deserves more than the who, what, where, when, and how.

01/23/2020

Tell The Story - JANUARY 23, 1931 - Anna Pavlova
"Prepare my swan costume."

We have watched her die again and again with such beauty, such grace, and with such lovely fragility that she has, indeed, become the world's dying swan. Originating Mikhail Fokine's brilliantly choreographed solo for Camille Saint-Saens' "The Swan" in 1905, Anna Pavlova danced the short ballet, which follows the last moments of a swan's life, nearly 4,000 times. Instantly, it became the prima ballerina's signature piece, and Pavlova became an international star, and a force of nature, who, even 115 years after she first arched her wings to the waning strains of Saint-Saens' cello, continues to influence the art of ballet. When Pavlova realized she was dying of pneumonia, she asked her husband to prepare her swan costume. She died January 23, 1931. In accordance with ballet tradition, on the day Pavlova was to have next performed, the show went on, as scheduled, with a single spotlight circling an empty stage, where she would have danced.

Use 75% of the original playing speed from the source https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIqh7x1oU2o