Total Bern Productions

08/23/2024

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=429388833438970&id=100091035690390&mibextid=cr9u03

03/30/2024

Hey friends and family of Total Bern Productions and North Coast Comedy!
April and May are heating up and we just keep raising the bar and bringing the laughs!

April 11th we are beyond excited to return to the very birthplace of North Coast Comedy as we present North Coast Comedy Returns to Fort Bragg! Don’t miss this evening of laughter starring Comedian Dennis Gaxiola, Jeanette Marin, Juan Carlos, Natalie Diaz and the Bern Man!
Tickets- https://www.eventbrite.com/e/852146612457?aff=oddtdtcreator

Then we are back in Ukiah on Saturday April 13th for the 3rd annual Comedy for a Cause! Benefitting Ukiah and Willits High School’s grad night events! We are thrilled to bring internationally acclaimed comedian, author and Broadway star, Mark Lundholm to the stage for a night of comedy and giving back.
Tickets- https://www.eventbrite.com/e/849322415207?aff=oddtdtcreator

Then on Saturday, May 11th get ready for an evening of comedy at the legendary Konocti Harbor Resort when we bring you Comedy Night at Konocti Harbor Resort! You read that right. Konocti Harbor resort is finally opening back up and we’re kicking it off with a night of comedy that’ll leave you ready for more! Don’t miss AGT’s Kabir Singh, Jeremy Curry, Franco Tevini and Lake County’s own Natalie Diaz!
Tickets- https://bit.ly/konocticomedynight

Let’s laugh!

03/10/2024

I just ran into a friend who didn’t see me at first and was on the phone with her brother. She’s telling him how she’s at Safeway and looks like s**t.
She’s clearly not fishing for any compliments cause it’s just a convo with the brother.

Seriously though, she’s beautiful. Like drop dead gorgeous…
I know she’s engaged, so clearly someone else thinks so too.

I don’t get the negativity women have about their looks. I’ve been reading about the “body positive” ideals in parenting and I like what I’m reading.

It’s crazy how as human beings we don’t see what other people see. I mean, take me for example. I’m extremely good looking but I don’t see it all the time. I know others do. All that gawking and cat calling I experience when I’m out in public…

Can’t even go to Costco without feeling like Wiley Coyote is staring at me like a Pork roast or walk through the parking lot without having every dog in their vehicles howl…

The human race needs to get it together. We are beautiful… In Every Single way…

03/09/2024

Thanks to our sponsors for Comedy for a Cause!

02/25/2024

About last night.
Sold out show at the Comedy Night At the Ukiah Valley Conference Center was incredible. Kabir Singh, brought down the roof. Let’s do it again on April 13th!

Thank you everyone!

01/31/2024

Hey friends and fans of North Coast Comedy and Total Bern Productions! Our crew is so excited to share the new menu from Slam Dunk Pizza!!! Stephanie Thornhill Dunken and Mr. Matt have been hard at work developing some exciting changes! Show your love for small business and the best spot for way more then pizza and certainly one of my favorite spots in Ukiah for birthday parties and more!
Cheers
The Bern Man
Jake Bernie

01/23/2024

What would the Bern Man ever be doing in Fort Brag? At this location?
Stay tuned…

01/10/2024

I wonder if I should go blonde again… Amber Otis is almost 55 to old?

12/12/2023

As we move into an election year, I wanted to be sure that all our folks running for office and planning events for the public know that we offer professional premium sound, lighting and projector services for you public events and fundraising.
Please give us a call at (707)367-2370. Or visit our website at www.totalbern.com

11/19/2023

Black Friday sale now through Sunday November 26th! Shop Local reward!
Needing to book that company party? Planning your schools winter formal or prom? Have a big party coming up?Want to book comedy for your party?
Book any of our services between now and Sunday November 26th, 2024 and receive 20% off your booking.

Total Bern Productions is second to none for all your sound, lighting, event planning and fundraising needs. We specialize in weddings, parties, anniversaries, and special events. But more importantly, we specialize in making every moment, every event the very best.
We offer planning, organizing, referral to other vendors and connecting the dots for all our clients.

We also offer major discounts for active military, veterans and Non Profit Organizations.

No event is too large or too small and we treat each booking like they’re family.
Weddings, school events, holiday parties, corporate parties, dances, car shows, birthdays parties and more.

Plan ahead and book now for your holiday parties, weddings, dances and more.

Call ⁨(707) 367-2370⁩ or go on line at www.totalbern.com to see more.

10/12/2023

Good morning
I’m looking for folks who follow us here to go to our website and subscribe. Cost nothing and you’ll be updated regularly about shows and events. Help us help you.
Go to www.totalbern.com to subscribe

10/12/2023

Hi . It’s the Bern Man. Lots of fun coming up as always…

10/09/2023

We're looking to get our followers of Total Bern Productions and North Coast Comedy to Subscribe to our website so we can start sending you show and company information directly.

Plan ahead for your event with Total Bern Productions. Because Every moment matters.

10/08/2023

Back where it all began!

09/25/2023

Good morning. I keep hearing folks are missing out on our shows and I’d like to patch up the leaks. Please go to our website www.totalbern.com and at the bottom of the page click on subscribe. You’ll never miss another show we produce again. It would be very helpful for us in our connecting with our fam base as well.
Let’s Laugh!
“The Bern Man”

Plan ahead for your event with Total Bern Productions. Because Every moment matters.

09/22/2023

Total Bern Productions is second to none for all your sound, lighting, event planning and fundraising needs. We specialize in weddings. But more importantly, we specialize in making every moment, every event the very best.
We offer planning, organizing, referral to other vendors and connecting the dots for all our clients.

We also offer major discounts for active military, veterans and Non Profit Organizations.

No event is too large or too small and we treat each booking like they’re family.
Weddings, school events, holiday parties, corporate parties, dances, car shows, birthdays parties and more.

Plan ahead and book now for your holiday parties, weddings, dances and more.

Call (707) 367-2370 or go on line at www.totalbern.com to hear more.

09/15/2023

One of our favorite events here at Total Bern Productions! Such an amazing day of showmanship, beautiful cars, community, great food and fun.

Also, follow this day of fun with an evening of entertainment at Nelson Family Vineyards as one of our community’s biggest events returns! PS We ❤️You this year goes from 5-9pm and includes charcuterie, great wines and live comedy! Tickets available at the The Mendocino Book Company in downtown Ukiah or online using this link.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/717232480657?aff=oddtdtcreator

09/03/2023

Had a blast last night at North Coast Comedy at Epicenter. What a fun group of comics!
Next show is September 22nd at Epicenter!