05/27/2024
Grace. It's a word that has been coming up for me a lot lately. This usually happens when GUS (God, Universe, Source) is trying to get a message through to me.
When I started on this adventure of podcasting, I was excited. The rush of dopamine was addictive as I shared the announcement and celebrated the fact that I was finally doing it!
I was taking my stance and declaring it was time to "tell my story". Something I've been wanting to do for so long (35 years, in fact) and the thought of actually doing it was a thrill.
Until...reality hit.
I'll be honest, podcasting is not as easy as I thought it would be. I can understand now how most podcasts don't last beyond 10 episodes. Moving through the vulnerability and the commitment it takes to put a new episode out every week, (currently) feels like running laps around a gravel track barefoot, and just when I think I can stop to catch my breath and rest my tired feet, it's time to hit the ground running again and create another new episode.
I'm no stranger to getting outside my comfort zone and typically, I can move through it with the tools I have. This time though, this stretch has taken things to an entirely new level for me. And it's something I didn't expect. My inner defense system (aka my inner mean girl in the form of Perfectionist Patty) has really kicked into high gear the past couple of weeks. She's doing everything she can to make me want to quit so I'll return to the safety of my comfort zone. ๐ญ
But I refuse to quit. I refuse to give up on my dream, on myself and on my audience.
A couple of days ago I realized I'm experiencing what Gay Hendricks calls an "upper limit problem". It happens when a lot of great stuff is happening and you reach your max capacity to hold it all, so you subconsciously begin to self sabotage so that you can return to the comfort of living at lower limits. A lot of great things have been happening for me lately and I can sense self sabotage nipping at my heels in a myriad of ways. I know I need to get a grasp on this if I want to continue breaking through those upper limits and allow more joy, love and freedom in my life.
And I know the key to "getting a grasp on it" is actually really about letting go.
I've had to dig deep lately and try new strategies when it comes to letting go. And I've noticed, that I've been telling myself the story that podcasting is "hard".
Life being "hard" is a pattern that I seem to return to again and again. And frankly, I'm over it. It's time to break this pattern.
This is how change often happens. We get so uncomfortable that we know something has to change because staying the same, just isn't worth it anymore.
And so, it's time for me to start writing a new script for my brain to follow. It's time to start telling myself the story that "this is fun and easy and that I'm free to show up just as I am". Because that is what I want my truth to be.
This is what the journey to self mastery is all about. It's not about having it all figured out but more so, it's about learning more about yourself and learning how to master yourself and your life along the way, so you can achieve more joy, satisfaction and fulfillment.
Have you ever come face to face with an upper limit problem? If so, I'd love to hear your thoughts on what you did to breakthrough. Letting go of perfectionism and offering ourselves grace, is a good place to start, don't you think?
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