07/21/2024
It’s been 4 years ago today that I came home from my hair salon with my grandsons with me and walked in my back door and found Michael Culpepper laying face down from Afib/ Congestive Heart Failure. I immediately went into shock and panicked calling 911 as my g sons were scared and I was trying my best to calm them and save him and I was in a panic state of mind .
As the EMT’s got here , they worked on him for awhile , they took him by ambulance to the hospital and as I was driven to the hospital as fast as we could go behind them , only to be stopped at the entrance as they told me , he was gone .No last minute goodbye , just gone …..
The last pic we took that I posted that morning never knowing it would be our last . From our engagement pic that I used for your funeral and added your wings .
In a blink of an eye , my life had changed and where I once thought I was the happiest, I was the saddest I’d ever been . I went from planning our wedding to his funeral and the grief & pain was unbearable. I didn’t think I could go on but I knew I couldn’t leave my kids & g kids so I pulled myself together to get through each day..
The 1st 6 months , I couldn’t leave the house except to work , the 2nd 6 months I didn’t want to come home at all . I stayed so busy not to think . I stayed out and drank until I could come home to pass out . I went to the bars to drown out my pain . I would go to church and beg for comfort. I was not good for me or anyone but put on a face to make it through each day .
I took a midnight train the first year on this day and left town as I didn’t want to face this day . I then told myself that I had to move forward as Michael wouldn’t want me to be this way . I had stopped living myself ,the day he passed, but I realized I had to start living again . Not just for me but for my family.
I was in a very dark place for awhile . I would try to act ok when I really wasn’t ok . I finally opened my heart up again as I met Brian , who knew Culpepper for years, and he treats me and loves me unconditionally . He became my best friend , my partner and loves me at all cost. He made me laugh again, he listened and was here to wipe my tears . I found love and peace with Brian and he was by my side through it all . I knew he was the one who I wanted to spend my life with and this past May we married and was one of the happiest days of my life .
I know Michael would be ok with him as I wanted to feel again & live again . He tells me to talk about you anytime that I want to and he helps me with anything involving you .I wanted to be able to be at peace and love again . I know You would be happy with my decision as he shows me love and protection to me and my family the way you did .
You would be so proud of your sisters ,Rebecca Culpepper Gustafson , Stephanie Susan and Kim as they have been so good to me . Still to this day they have been here to help and support me and your foundation in every way . They are not just my friends but my sisters , “my family “.
Your true friends also still check on me here and there and they always try to help me and support me as well . You all really have no idea how much it means to me .
I did keep my promise to you & myself that I would alway honor you so I started Culpepper’s Cardiac Foundation . We put AED’s out to help save someone’s life and give out scholarships to Fire/EMT and Medical to support them and feed the firemen as well as support our PCSO . I feel that if we save one persons life by putting up an AED then all of it is worth what all I put into keeping this foundation going .You would be proud , I know you would.
I know we all think of our 1st kiss with someone or your 1st dinner or your 1st everything . Well I remember our last kiss and our last dinner , our last with everything.. I never got to even say goodbye to you and I think that was the hardest. It’s definitely been hard on me and I will always remember you as my Superman . Culpepper was good to me and he was a friend to everyone. He loved being Secuity as he wanted to always protect. I know he’s up there in Heaven still watching out for all of us and I know he’s not in anymore pain.
I will always keep my memories and treasure our time we did have . Some never find real love so to all out there , remember to take care of each other and love each other and if you find that special someone, treat them right as you only find true love once and maybe twice . You know when you find it , even if it’s once or get that 2nd time to find it , love with everything within you and be thankful and blessed. I thank God everyday that he pulled me through and gave me this 2nd chance .
We all miss you Michael Culpepper. I know your security at Heaven’s Gates as you were when you was here.
Keep watching over all of us..Till we see you again ❤️